


Everybody Loves Fic Tropes, Right?

by faequeentitania



Category: Agents of Cracked, Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Anal Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dildos, F/F, F/M, Frottage, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Knotting, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Office Sex, Public Sex, Sex Pollen, Sex Toys, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Spanking, Strap-Ons, Trans Male Character, Tropes, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-25 12:51:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: I love fic tropes, you love fic tropes, so let's do some fic tropes, alright?Each chapter is an independent story, and some are not explicit, which will be noted in that chapter's beginning notes.





	1. Sex Pollen, Version 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love fic tropes, so I wrote a bunch of them. There's a weird amount of gender swapped stories in this collection, I don't know why my brain fixated on that a little bit. All the chapters are labeled what trope they are, though, if you want to skip around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This says "version 1" in the chapter title because I have multiple takes on fun ways sex pollen prompts can shake out. Admittedly, this is one of my favorite fic tropes so I have a lot of fun with it.

Dan felt weird. Not bad, per se, but... strange. Tingly, almost, and hot. He undid another button on his shirt, and leaned his head back against the sofa.

There was a beer sweating onto a coaster on his coffee table, and he was supposed to be reviewing his editing notes on his next article, but he just couldn’t focus. Maybe he was getting sick.

He decided to change, there was no point in staying in his clothes if he wasn’t feeling well enough to go back out again. Maybe he’d just order in and call it a night.

Dan went into his bedroom and stripped down, using his wrinkled work shirt to wipe away the sweat that was starting to accumulate on his neck and chest and back. Maybe he _was_ sick.

Shower. A shower would make him feel better.

He kept the water cool, and stepped in, feeling momentary relief from the heat building up inside his body. He tilted his head back against the weak stream, dreaming of a shower with better water pressure, and let his mind go blank.

After a few minutes he fumbled for the soap, aiming for a quick rub down, but became annoyingly, _painfully_ distracted by the way the rub of the soap on his body made his skin tingle and his dick start to get hard.

He groaned and shook his head, finishing as quickly as he could before putting the soap aside and finally letting himself grip his cock in the palm of his hand. It couldn’t hurt, he figured, though he usually saved this for his bedtime routine; anything that helped him sleep better at night was not to be brushed aside.

He kept his mind purposefully blank; determinately thinking of nothing and no one as he squeezed slowly from base to tip, with a little twist at the head that made his hips twitch.

“Fuck,” Dan whispered, bracing his arm against the shower wall and taking a steadying breath. His skin felt increasingly sensitive, the rivulets of water streaming down his back and sides leaving shivers in their wake, and the pressure and speed of his hand increased.

He _ached_ , his dick and his balls and somewhere deeper in his pelvis, all pulsing along with his heart and desperate to come. It never felt like this, this edgy need that was spreading through his whole body.

“Fuck,” Dan said again, his hand sliding fast and desperate along his length, and he gasped and groaned a few moments later when he came in hot a rush.

“Oh god,” he breathed out, his hips twitching uncontrollably into every hard pull, and he watched his spunk slide down the drain slowly. He rinsed off his hand, still shaky and tingly, and made himself turn off the water and get out of the shower.

He still felt hot. He toweled off quickly and slid into a pair of boxer shorts before turning on the fan and flopping onto his back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“ _What_ the _hell_?” he groaned, squirming uncomfortably. The tingly feeling had only intensified, and that ache was only stronger, more persistent, and he was getting hard again with barely any rebound time.

Something was definitely wrong. He had no idea what was happening, but he was completely sure he knew who was responsible.

He fumbled for his phone, fighting the increasing urge to get off again, and brought up Michael’s number.

It rang four times before Michael picked up, sounding breathless.

“What the fuck did you give me?” Dan growled into the phone, twisting his other hand into his sheets to keep himself from touching his dick, “Michael, what did you do?”

Michael made a pitiful sound on the other end of the phone, and Dan cursed at the ceiling. Whatever it was, Michael had most definitely dosed himself too.

“Michael!”

“Don’t remember,” Michael finally moaned, “She said it was something new, something mind-blowing.”

“She?”

“Yeah. Rena, Rio, Rosalin? Something like that. Met her at a club.”

Dan groaned, this time out of frustration, and pressed the phone hard against his ear to keep himself grounded.

“I’m going to kill you, Michael.”

“No you won’t, I’m coming over there.”

“What?!” Dan squeaked, mortified at the very idea of Michael stepping foot into his apartment when he looked like this, “Michael! Michael?”

He pulled the phone away to find the “Call Disconnected” message, and cursed again.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he groaned a second later, as a hard pulse of arousal ricocheted through his body and he couldn’t stop his hand flying to his dick if his life depended on it.

He groaned as he roughly pushed his boxers out of the way and started stroking, taking only a moment to spit into his hand and make the movement easier.

There wasn’t even the slightest chance he could go slow; not with the way his whole pelvis was throbbing and aching with need, and Dan jerked himself rough and desperate.

He couldn’t stop from crying out as he came, what was left of his load spattering weakly onto his belly in weak pulses.

“Oh shit,” Dan groaned, grinding his head back against the pillow and shaking, “Fucking _shit_.”

A gut-wrenching, startled moan scared the crap out of him, and he jerked his head up to see Michael standing in his bedroom doorway, looking enraptured and wrecked and obscenely turned on.

“Jesus Christ,” Dan panted, looking him up and down with alarm; disheveled and flushed, with a pornographically large tent in the front of his sweatpants, “Fucking hell, Michael, you cannot be here right now.”

“What are you _talking_ about?” Michael groaned, staring at Dan’s dick, and Dan self-consciously tried to pull a sheet over himself.

Quick as a flash Michael was across the room and pulling the sheet out of Dan’s hands, and Dan gasped as Michael kneeled on all fours over him.

“I fucking _promise_ you that orgasms are better with another person,” Michael groaned, looking at him ravenously, and Dan had never felt his face get so hot in all his life.

“I fucking _know that_ , Michael!” Dan rasped, “Jesus, shut up, get out!”

“Please, _please_ ,” Michael groaned, “Watching you come just now was the hottest thing I’d ever seen, and that’s including the twins in the hot tub, Daniel. Fuck, _please_ let me get you off.”

Dan’s face couldn’t go any redder, though it was definitely trying, but he was interrupted by a fast pulse of liquid lust that slipped down his spine and settled into his guts when Michael put a hand on his hip and dug his fingers in. There was no way any drug Dan had ever heard of should do that, and the vague idea of some kind of magic sex dust crossed his mind. Knowing the absolutely bonkers things that happened around Michael all the goddamn time, he couldn’t rule it out as a possibility.

Michael looked just as affected, his pupils absolutely huge and his breath coming out in shivery bursts, and Dan’s resolved collapsed faster than a house of cards.

“Oh Jesus, _please_ ,” Dan groaned, loud and absolutely, embarrassingly sinful, and Michael gave a hard answering groan of his own.

Dan had no idea what he was expecting Michael to do, but sitting back on his knees and ducking his head to take Dan’s dick between his lips was not it.

Dan arched with a shout at the unexpected, glorious wet heat of Michael's mouth, and he couldn’t stop himself from gripping Michael’s hair if his life depended on it. Michael moaned noisily, sinking down onto Dan’s dick until the tip hit the back of his throat, and Dan’s hips surged uncontrollably into that tight pressure.

Michael made a stifled choking sound and pinned Dan down, barely pausing as his mouth worked and his head bobbed on Dan’s shaft.

“Holy shit,” Dan gasped, not daring to look down because his brain might actually explode if he did, but _holy shit_.

Michael was sucking his dick. Enthusiastically. Making happy, eager noises that would be wanking material for decades to come.

Michael pushed down until Dan’s dick was flirting with the back of his throat again, only this time he swallowed rapidly, and Dan came again with a strangled sound, his whole body tensing up.

Overwhelmed tears actually leaked from the corners of his eyes as Dan gasped for breath, aching and shaking at the way it didn’t seem to abate the lust burning in his blood.

Michael pulled off with a gasp and groan, and in a flurry of movement he was pulling his clothes off as fast as he could manage it.

“Fuck, you’re so hot, Dan,” Michael groaned, palming his own dick frantically, “God, I want that dick in me.”

Dan’s brain was in danger of dribbling out of his ears, and he forced himself to sit up, pulling Michael’s hand away from his dick. Michael whined pathetically, but Dan took Michael’s thick, weird dick into his hand with a moan.

“Only if you return the favor,” he found himself saying, shocked at his own forwardness but it wasn’t anything but the truth.

Michael came suddenly with a groan, pulsing weakly into Dan’s hand and grabbing his face to mash their mouths together.

It was the most aggressive kiss Dan had ever experienced, and he kissed back with equal ferocity, giving a sharp nip to Michael’s bottom lip that pulled the most gorgeous whine from Michael’s throat.

Michael wrapped his arms tightly around Dan’s chest and twisted, pulling Dan down on top of him on the bed and pressing his hard dick up against Dan’s belly. Dan begrudgingly pulled away, despite Michael’s breathy sounds of protest, which were quickly silenced when Dan retrieved the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer.

“Oh god, fuck me _right now_ ,” Michael groaned, taking the bottle from him immediately and squirting a healthy dollop onto the palm of his hand. Before Dan could say a word, Michael was slicking Dan’s dick and pulling his hips forward desperately.

“Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck,” Dan groaned, completely losing the battle to stay in any semblance of control, and instead immediately caved to Michael’s desperate pull on his hips by lining up the tip of his cock with Michael’s hole.

“Fuck, _yes_ ,” Michael groaned, and it was the hottest thing Dan had ever heard, “ _Fuck me_ , come on.”

Dan was in no way prepared to say no to the absolutely sinful way Michael was begging for his cock, so he didn’t, and he sank into Michael’s body with a hard groan.

It wasn’t hard to believe that until that exact moment, Dan had never fucked a man, so he was unprepared for how _insanely tight_ Michael’s body was. Dan made a sound like he was dying because there was a very real possibility that he was, and Michael echoed him, his knees hitched up high against Dan’s sides in the sexiest way.

Michael wrapped an arm around Dan’s shoulders and pulled him down, biting and licking Dan’s neck as his other hand palmed Dan’s ass, squeezing and pulling him in tighter and harder.

Dan was on a runaway train; his whole body throbbing and aching and pushing him to fuck Michael _harder_ ; bury his dick in Michael’s eager body until his partner choked on it.

He gripped Michael’s hips, curled over him and shoving his knees under Michael’s ass to get closer. Michael was groaning, clenching around Dan’s cock and holding onto him desperately, egging him on with his hands and his ass and meeting every one of Dan’s brutal thrusts like it was the best thing he had ever felt.

Michael kept trying to pull his legs up higher, get Dan deeper, and Dan hooked his arm under one of Michael’s knees and pushed it up, stretching him and making the clench of his body even tighter around Dan’s dick. It made him jerk, groaning and panting and suddenly Michael was keening, his back arching against the bed in the most gorgeous way. His fingers dug into Dan’s sweaty back and ass as Michael came so violently Dan was afraid he was going to pass out.

And it was fucking perfect; he didn’t even know it was _possible_ to come just from being fucked, and here Michael was, doing it on _Dan’s dick_. There was no way for Dan to get through it without his own orgasm triggering, and he dug his forehead into Michael’s pec as he dug in as deep as he could go and shook his way through it with a ragged shout.

“ _Fuck_ yes,” Michael wheezed, squeezing the back of Dan’s neck weakly, “ _Fuck_ I just knew you’d be good if you gave yourself a chance. _Holy fuck_ , Dan.”

“Shut up. Please.” Dan panted raggedly, mildly dizzy and dripping with sweat, and Michael gave a breathless little laugh.

“Shan’t,” he was grinning, Dan could tell, but Dan also had to wonder where Michael had learned a word like _shan’t_ , “Most dudes like being told they’re great with their dick.”

Dan groaned, digging his forehead into Michael’s pec again and screwing his eyes shut, “Michael, I’m begging you, please be quiet.”

Michael gave a stupid little laugh, but mercifully, actually did shut up. Dan had a feeling it had more to do with the next wave of lust that pulsed through them than bending to Dan’s wishes, however.

Dan groaned again, digging his hips in, and Michael gasped and squirmed.

“ _Fuck_ , out!” Michael rasped, pushing at Dan to get away, and Dan withdrew with a pathetic whine.

Michael winced as his legs fell to the sides, thighs shaking, and Dan may have been drugged, but he was cognizant enough to be worried that he had hurt him.

“Are you-” Dan started to ask, but Michael cut him off.

“Of course I’m fine, moron,” Michael groaned, “Do you have any idea how hard I just came?”

Dan had a general idea, as a matter of fact, considering his own was still sending tremors through his body.

Another wave of need pulsed through him, and Dan hung his head and braced his hands on the bed as he grit his teeth to ride it out.

“Oh god, how long are we going to be stuck like this?” Dan groaned when he could breathe again, and Michael moaned and shook his head.

“No idea.”

“I’m going to kill you for this, Michael, I really am.”

“Kill me later,” Michael panted, gripping his cock with a pained sound, “We’re not letting these boners go to waste. C’mere.”

Michael tugged on his arm, and Dan slid over him again, letting Michael pull him in for another kiss. This one wasn’t quite as rough, and Dan shivered at the way Michael’s tongue curled behind his lip for a moment.

Michael’s hands traveled down his back warmly, and Dan gasped when one of his hands moved to his ass and parted his cheeks to press his middle finger against Dan’s hole.

“You gonna let me?” Michael murmured against his mouth, and Dan shuddered.

“I’ve... I’ve never-”

“Obviously,” Michael interrupted with a snide snicker, “I’m gonna take care of you, Dan, don’t worry.”

Dan gave a dismissive snort, shaking his head, and Michael kissed him again so he could give Dan’s bottom lip a sharp nip.

“Trust me, Dan, I’m good at this,” Michael murmured, and Dan shuddered and groaned with the next hard pulse of desire that made his dick throb.

“Oh Jesus, fuck, yes, just...” Dan babbled, grinding his dick against Michael’s pelvis in a hard rub.

Michael scrambled for the bottle of lube, lost somewhere in the sheets, and gave a triumphant “ah!” when he found it. Suddenly, Dan found himself on his back on the bed instead of Michael, panting and more than a little apprehensive, but his body seemed to be far more on board; his dick was throbbing and his skin still felt tingly and hot, blushing warm with every place Michael was now brushing kisses along his torso.

Michael moved up to kiss his mouth again, and Dan let him, closing his eyes and giving a low moan when Michael slid a hand between them to grip Dan’s cock in a tight grip. He just stroked for a few minutes while Dan shook; amped up and nervous but deeply curious if he could come hands-free the way Michael had.

Then Michael was pushing him onto his belly, breaking the kiss and moving to draw his mouth across Dan’s shoulders while he slicked his fingers with lube.

“You got this,” Michael murmured against the back of his neck, rubbing his lube-wet finger against Dan’s hole for a second before pushing in.

Dan was surprised when it didn’t hurt, and he didn’t know if it was a result of whatever was in their systems at play or if anal sex was just easier than he thought. Either way, Michael pushed in to the last knuckle steadily, still kissing and mouthing at Dan’s shoulder.

Dan spread his legs wider, panting and waiting for Michael to move. He didn’t for a moment, just keeping his finger pressed in until Dan whined and squirmed.

Michael breathed a tiny laugh against his skin, but finally withdrew his finger a bit before pushing back in. On the third stroke, he angled his finger toward the front of Dan’s pelvis and all the air left Dan’s lungs in a rush.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Dan moaned, and Michael giggled.

“Good, huh?” he asked, doing it again, and Dan moaned louder, pushing back into it.

One finger rapidly climbed to two, then three, and Dan didn’t know he was capable of the sounds coming out of his mouth. That deep ache was still there, still pulsing with desire, and every stroke of Michael fingers was feeding into it.

“Fuck, Michael, I can’t-” Dan whined, unsure of where he was taking that sentence but Michael seemed to get it anyway, pulling out his fingers and squirting a wet dollop of lube onto his dick instead. Dan heard him spreading it around, then Michael’s dick was against his hole and starting to push in.

Dan gripped his pillow in a death hold, shaking and whining, and Michael groaned loud and wrecked as his pelvis became flush with Dan’s ass.

“Holy fuck,” Dan panted, clenching spastically around Michael’s thickness, and Michael’s breath hitched, “Holy- fucking _move_.”

His dick was still completely hard, rubbing raw against the sheets with every little motion of his hips, and the need to come again was pulsing through his blood. Dan briefly entertained the idea that they might be forced to fuck until they died of dehydration or heart attack by whatever the hell Michael had drugged them with. He’d be thoroughly freaked out by the idea if Michael hadn’t decided to finally start pumping his hips, erasing all thought from Dan’s brain as a wave of pleasure swept through him with every bump against his prostate.

Dan couldn’t help the way his legs spread wider if his life depended it on it, his body craving _deeper_ and _harder_ and shaking with pleasure. He had no idea it could feel like this.

Michael pulled out and Dan gave a cry at the loss, but then Michael was pulling him up onto his hand and knees.

“Put your hands on the wall,” Michael rasped, and Dan hurriedly shuffled forward enough to reach the wall above the bed and brace his palms flat against it.

Michael shuffled him forward even more, forcing Dan more upright, and Dan didn’t understand why until Michael was pushing back inside him with a deep groan. Being closer to the wall gave Dan more flexibility to move, and more force he could push back with if he wanted to.

He definitely, _definitely_ wanted to.

Michael’s arms came up his chest and to the front of his shoulders, holding tight to them as he and Dan worked together to make the force of his thrusts deeper and faster.

“ _Jesus_ , you are so goddamn tight,” Michael huffed in his ear, digging his hips in sharp, bumping Dan’s prostate and making him cry out at the fierce spike of pleasure that ricocheted up his spine.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Michael moaned, doing it again and again, stealing Dan’s breath and making his body clench and shake.

“Fucking... _fuck_ keeping doing that,” Dan gasped, shaking and riding the edge and it was _so much_ he didn’t know how the hell he was ever going to recover from this.

Michael didn’t answer, but actually did what Dan told him to do for the first time in life, making the hottest little breathless sounds against Dan’s neck as Dan did his very damnedest to fuck back onto Michael’s dick with all of his strength.

Like the beginning of a tidal wave, tingles of his orgasm crawled through his pelvis and all he could do was grind back on Michael’s dick until it crested with a sharp snap, locking up his joints and stealing his breath while his vision went white.

With a crash it was over and Dan went limp, slumped against the wall while Michael groaned and pumped his hips a few more times before crying out and burying himself in Dan’s ass as hard and as deep as he could go, shaking through it like he was going to break apart.

Limp as broken marionettes, they slumped down on the bed together in a messy pile, shaking and breathing like they had just run a marathon.

Dan didn’t know how much more of this he could take, and probably would have said as much if he could find the breath to speak.

But somehow, miraculously, the crushing, heavy pull of arousal seemed to finally be starting to fade. He was still hard, and his dick was still pulsing with need, but it was far less intense than it had been just moments before.

Weakly, he got a hand down and gripped the tip of his dick, barely doing anything but squeezing and rubbing minutely to abate the pressure, and his body forced him to come again after a few minutes.

Then... relief. The desire started to recede, and the ache subsided, being replaced with the acute ache of pushing his body far past its limits.

Behind him, Michael got off with his hand too, whimpering pathetically, but apparently the drug wasn’t done with him just yet. He groaned and pushed his dick against Dan’s ass, seemingly not trying to push in but weakly rubbing off against Dan’s tailbone.

Michael pressed his teeth against Dan’s shoulder when he came, but didn’t bite, and Dan somehow managed to find the strength to reach back and put his hand on Michael’s thigh weakly, rubbing his thumb against the trembling muscle.

“You okay?” Dan asked in a hoarse whisper, and Michael whined.

Dan squeezed his thigh a little in encouragement, and Michael shook through another orgasm before it finally seemed to start to fade from him too.

They were completely sideways on the bed, as wet as mop heads from all the sweat and the sheets on the verge of being pulled off, and Dan felt utterly and completely boneless.

He couldn’t fight sleep if his life depended on it, and only woke up hours later because his phone was going off.

“Hello?” he managed to murmur into the phone.

“Where the hell are you morons?” Sarge’s voice barked over the line, and Dan squinted at the clock to discover it was almost noon.

“Sorry Sarge,” he rasped, then cleared his throat and coughed weakly. He felt as horrible as he sounded; aching all over and his headache was probably the result of dehydration, “I think Michael and I ate something weird for lunch yesterday, neither of us were feeling well when we went to bed last night so I guess I slept through my alarm.”

Dan was lying his ass off, but the idea of going into the office today sounded worse than torture.

“So... uh, I guess this is me calling out for both of us.”

Sarge made a disgruntled sound over the phone and hung up, and Dan let the phone slip out of his hand and to the floor.

He picked his head up to look around at the carnage, and found that yes, they were still sideways on the bed, and Michael was on his back next to him, still completely dead-to-the-world asleep.

“Fuck it,” Dan sighed, putting his head back down in defeat.

He’d deal with it all later. He needed a lot more sleep.


	2. Knotting

To say that Dan was taken off guard to find that Michael was an alpha was an understatement. Alphas were rare to begin with, he was surprised enough by the fact that he would be working for one, but to be partnered with one? That was a whole different ballgame.

And the most embarrassing part was that he didn’t even realize it at first. The first time they met was in The Chief’s office, which was practically a hot box of The Chief’s alpha scent, so he didn’t think much of the fact that he couldn’t smell anything else over it.

Then when he set up his desk and Michael finally wandered over to properly talk to him for the first time, it became clear to him that the alpha he was smelling was undoubtedly his partner. Just in their short time of interaction, he could tell Michael was the least alpha-y alpha imaginable.

Granted, his alpha interactions were extremely limited, but he had expected them all to be, well... like The Chief. Dominant with a capital “D”, and intimidating. Michael was occasionally terrifying in his reckless disregard for laws and safety, but he wasn’t intimidating in the same way The Chief was.

Dan was able to admit that part of his assumptions about alphas came from movies and porn, though, which were notorious for exaggerating real life. Maybe Michael was the more average alpha and The Chief was the exception? It was hard to tell, and Dan tried not to think on it too much; it wasn’t his job to parse the idiosyncrasies of alpha stereotypes. It was his job to keep Michael out of trouble. Which was a challenge unto itself.

And maybe Dan didn’t have the _most_ tactful response to seeing Michael’s dick for the first time. He couldn’t _entirely_ be blamed, could he? He’d seen a couple alpha fetish porns in his time on the internet, but actually seeing it in reality was an entirely different experience.

And maybe it was a bit cliche, but he couldn’t help but be curious. He was a beta, and didn’t especially fetishize alphas and omegas, typically, but he was also only human. And he was intrigued by the possibility.

He didn’t count the Kelly Wheeler fiasco. She was enthralled by Michael’s alpha-ness, and Michael had been more than happy to show off for her. Dan had participated in the whole thing as little as possible out of sheer mortification, and mostly tried to block it out of his mind.

So suddenly, three long years after their first interaction, Dan was faced with the actual reality of having Michael’s undivided sexual attention. And he couldn’t stop thinking about Michael’s knot.

They were in a motel in the midwest somewhere, Dan couldn’t entirely remember what state they had stopped in, and he had rustled up the courage to get a single motel room, instead of two. Michael had looked delighted with him, and Dan went scarlet when Michael slipped his hand into Dan’s back pocket as they walked from the front desk to their room.

It was certainly not the first grope Dan had experienced that day, and would absolutely not be the last from the way things were going. Dan absolutely refused to have sex in the tiny, cold, uncomfortable hot air balloon, and Michael had begrudgingly agreed. Didn’t stop him from feeling Dan up or kissing the daylights out of him for the bulk of the trip, though.

Dan was on edge. The whole damn day had felt like nothing but foreplay; between the kissing and the touching and Michael murmuring into his ear about all the times he’d fantasized about fucking him. To hear Michael put it, he’d been lusting after Dan since his second week at Cracked, which Dan wasn’t sure he believed but it was sure flattering.

They put their meager belongings in the room before Dan insisted that they go out and get Michael a change of clothes and toiletries, and Dan pretended not to notice the bottle of lube Michael slipped into the cart under the X-men t-shirt he had picked out.

Then it was just Michael and Dan in a motel room together, the bag of supplies tossed carelessly on the single chair in the room and Michael kissing him with barely restrained excitement.

“You ever taken a knot before, Dan?” Michael murmured, breathless and excited, and Dan was trembling.

“No,” he breathed unsteadily, giving his head a little shake, and Michael moaned loud and sharp and kissed him hard.

“Ever take just a beta dick, then?” Michael asked, and again Dan shook his head no, his hands fisted in Michael’s shirt, and Michael practically swooned.

“I have _so much_ to show you,” Michael cupped his face and smiled brilliantly, and Dan blushed from the top of his head and down to his chest with embarrassment.

“Don’t be weird about it, Michael,” Dan groaned, reaching up and putting his hands over Michael’s, “I’m begging you. This is terrifying enough as it is.”

“Terrifying?” Michael frowned, “What do you think anal sex is, Daniel?”

Dan wasn’t sure if his face could get any redder, “As we literally just discussed, my practical experience with it is zero. All I know is what I’ve seen in porn, and they’re not always the most accurate representations.”

Michael chortled, and kissed him again, and Dan’s hands moved from covering Michael’s to the back of Michael’s head to keep him close as he murmured the next part, “And... well, I mean... you’re not scared at all?”

Michael’s thumbs stroked his cheeks, “No... why should I be?”

“Because what if this is a huge mistake? What if you hate the east coast? What if sex with me is terrible and you never want to do it again? What if-”

Michael clamped a hand over his mouth and pulled back, and he looked half exasperated and half amused.

“You’re an idiot,” Michael sighed, “Never, Daniel. _Never_. You’re stuck with me, got it? Partners for _life_.”

He released Dan’s mouth and kissed it instead, and Dan sighed.

“You can’t know that.”

“Of course I can,” Michael smiled, “Everything always works out for me. The east coast will love me.”

Dan gave his head a little shake, but he couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m sure it will.”

“And you do too,” Michael’s thumbs stroked his cheeks again, “You _nerd_.”

“Not if you keep calling me a nerd I won’t.”

“It’s out of love and you know it.”

Dan slid his hands from Michael’s head and down his chest to wrap around his waist and pull him closer, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Sounds like an invitation to me,” Michael’s smile got even wider, and he started working on Dan’s buttons rapidly, “Ditch the tie, Dan. Unless you want me to find a different use for it?”

Dan immediately started tugging at it, and Michael giggled, “Still not kinky, huh? Don’t worry, we’ve got time to fix that.”

“Oh god, please stop talking,” Dan groaned, and Michael giggled again but then he ducked his head down to press in for another kiss, so it took the sting out of it a little.

When Michael stopped running his mouth, it was surprisingly easy to fall into it; his big hands pushed Dan’s shirt down his arms and he ran his palms along Dan’s chest, over his undershirt, and moaned like it was a work of art he was appreciating instead of just plain old Dan.

“For real,” Michael suddenly pulled back and murmured, “I’ve wanted this for _so long_ Dan. I mean it. I wouldn’t have come with you if I wasn’t completely sure.”

Dan was shaking, and Michael’s face was so earnest and fond he wanted to cry.

He didn’t know what to say, so instead he swallowed thickly and started tugging Michael’s windbreaker down his arms.

“Get the lube,” Dan managed to rasp, and Michael’s eyelashes fluttered and he groaned like it was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.

Michael slipped the windbreaker the rest of the way off and tossed it on the back of the chair as he rummaged through the bag for the lube.

Dan took a deep breath and sat down on the bed to untie his shoes, and tried not to think too hard about the lube bottle in his peripheral vision being put on the nightstand.

He kicked his shoes away and Michael knelt on the floor in front of him wearing a stupid grin.

“I know it’s all bullshit,” Michael murmured, “and it doesn’t _really_ matter. And I’m the last one to throw stones. But. Dan. It is _so fucking hot_ that I’m gonna be the first one you ever do this with. And the _last_ , if I have anything to say about it.”

“Stereotypical alpha,” Dan sighed, trying to make his voice light and teasing to keep from sounding nervous. He was not entirely sure he was managing it, “Always have to stake their territory.”

Michael laughed, but his pupils were dilated and he licked his lips, “I’ve never wanted that with anybody before.”

It was Dan’s turn to be sucker-punched by lust, and he went for the hem of Michael’s shirt hurriedly.

“And I’ve never wanted to be some alpha’s bitch boy until you, so...” Dan found himself panting, and Michael looked shocked for a nanosecond before it turned into liquid lust.

Then the clothes were coming off at a lightening pace, and Dan was practically salivating at the thick, heavy scent of Michael’s arousal. He’d smelled it off and on throughout the years in a variety of situations; it was unavoidable, with the way Michael acted like a walking advertisement for sex. And while Dan had never been immune to the scent of an alpha’s arousal (he was only human, after all), it was _nothing_ compared to the way it was overwhelming his senses now. It was _all_ he could smell; no office scents to distract him, no Kelly Wheeler, no kitchen ventilation to whisk the smell away. It was just him and Michael in a tiny motel room in the middle of the country.

Dan reached behind him to shove the blankets down and expose the clean sheets instead of the scratchy comforter as Michael finally managed to get his final sock off, and then Dan gasped when Michael all but tackled him back onto the mattress.

Michael pushed his legs apart and Dan squeaked, but Michael just settled on his knees over him and dragged his mouth along Dan’s throat.

“You smell incredible,” Michael moaned, “Fucking... you’re so turned on right now and I’ve barely touched you. Goddamn incredible.”

Dan shook his head and panted; not even denying it, really, but just feeling _overwhelmed_. Having Michael’s undivided attention was always intense, Michael was just _intense_ , but Dan was aching and shaking and Michael was zoned in on it like a bloodhound.

“Fuck, I’m sucking your dick,” Michael grunted, giving Dan’s throat a little nip that felt like it was hardwired directly to his cock.

Dan didn’t have any words left to argue, even if he had had a reason to, and Michael shuffled down and unhesitatingly sank his mouth down on Dan’s dick.

Dan almost came on the spot, arching against the bed and making a strangled sound, and Michael pulled back and circled the head of his cock with his pointer finger and thumb and squeezed until it was painful.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Dan squirmed, trying to shove Michael’s hand off, and Michael relented after a minute.

“You are _not_ getting off yet,” Michael growled, and Dan froze at the hard demand in his voice, “You are not even close to getting that.”

If Dan had a single functioning brain cell left in his head in that moment, he probably would have overanalyzed how his immediate reaction was a pulse of arousal so strong he writhed, and Michael gripped his hips hard to keep him pinned to the bed as he took him in his mouth again.

Dan was trembling and trying _really hard_ to calm down, to hold off coming, and either Michael sensed that or was just getting impatient, because he made a lewd sound and pulled off Dan’s dick again after a few spine-tingly sucks.

“Turn over,” Michael growled, and Dan hastened to obey. All of his nervousness from just a short while ago was gone; washed out by Michael’s scent and arousal and touch.

The lube cap clicked and Dan shivered, then moaned at the way Michael held his ass cheeks open with one hand and rubbed the slick touch of his finger over Dan’s asshole with the other. Dan squirmed and rubbed his dick against the mattress as Michael slowly pushed in the tip of his finger; Dan’s muscles spasmed and he gasped, and Michael just rocked his finger a little for a moment.

“Alright?” Michael breathed, and Dan nodded mutely against the sheets.

Dan’s muscles slowly relaxed, and Michael was able to push in more of his finger, inch by slow inch, until it was buried up to the last knuckle.

Michael gave a broken moan, moving his free hand up to the small of Dan’s back and rubbing his thumb against the tense muscle.

“This is so hot, Dan, you have no idea,” he groaned, and Dan didn’t know what to do with the squirmy feeling in his guts.

So instead he just husked out, “Keep going.”

Michael gave a breathless, excited laugh and leaned down to kiss a line down Dan’s back, “Goddamn sexy.”

He rocked his finger and Dan breathed out shakily. It was a bit weird, but didn’t hurt, and Dan felt on edge and eager and impatient. Michael was panting behind him and the scent of his arousal was making the air feel thick; Dan could almost taste it with every breath and it was ramping his whole body up.

Michael withdrew and then pushed back in slowly, again and again until Dan was pushing back into it, eager for _more_ already.

Which Michael eventually gave, adding a little more lube and pushing two fingers in now instead of just one.

Dan was surprised when body barely put up any sort of resistance, just a tiny twinge and then nothing, just an easy push of Michael’s fingers up to the last knuckle.

“This is so fucking hot,” Michael said again, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. How much I jerked off thinking about it.”

Dan pressed his face into the mattress with a little groan, and Michael’s fingers made a wet sound as they withdrew and pushed back inside him slowly. Then Michael was curling his fingers toward the front of Dan’s pelvis and he brushed something that made Dan’s body explode with unexpected pleasure.

Dan almost twisted away with a sharp cry he was so shocked, but Michael reached up to grip his shoulder in a bruising grip as he did it again.

Dan shook and panted, taking the sheets in his fist and gripping hard as precome dripped from the tip of his cock. He was going to come. He was going to come with nothing but Michael’s fingers in his ass and not a single hand on his dick and he would never live it down.

He opened his mouth to ask Michael to stop, to give him a breather, but then Michael pressed in and rubbed his fingers side to side _hard_ and all that could leave his mouth was a sharp cry as he came all over the sheets.

“Holy shit, _holy shit_ ,” Michael groaned, rubbing and rubbing and making Dan dizzy with sharp, intense pleasure, “Oh my god, I can’t believe you just came. Holy _fuck_.”

He finally relented when Dan’s cries turned to overwhelmed pain and he tried to pull away; anything to get away from the way Michael’s fingers were setting his whole nervous system on fire.

More lube and Michael pushed in three fingers, Dan’s orgasm-lax body taking them easily.

He could hear Michael’s ragged breath behind him, and Michael just rocked his fingers in, keeping away from Dan’s prostate and just stretching his hole and coaxing his muscles to relax.

Michael spread his fingers and Dan whimpered, clenching against the stretch and Michael groaned.

Then the fingers were gone, replaced by something blunt and hot and Dan whined and shook.

“Tell me to stop if I hurt you,” Michael panted raggedly, and Dan nodded feverishly as that blunt press of Michael’s dick turned into a slow, inward push.

It stung a little, his dick thick and hot and overwhelming all of Dan’s available brainpower, but the pain wasn’t enough to make him want Michael to stop.

And he didn’t stop, not until he was buried to the hilt in Dan’s body and Dan was shaking and whining at the feel of it.

Michael’s knot was already starting to swell, and the last couple inches of his dick stretched Dan wider and made him hiss.

“Okay?” Michael asked, petting his back gently and Dan groaned.

“S’okay,” he nodded, “keep going.”

Michael groaned and kissed across his shoulders as his hips started to move.

It was the single most insane thing he had ever felt. Dan had no idea if sex with every alpha felt like this, or if Michael just had a natural knack for pushing every right button, but Dan knew in every atom of his body that he was going to get hard again.

Michael made short, sharp thrusts, his knot starting to fill Dan up and making withdrawing harder. He was really allowing this. He was really letting Michael tie on to him and fill him up with that big, heavy knot.

Michael groaned sharply and Dan’s body clenched, his muscles completely out of his control and making him go so tight around Michael that he couldn’t do anything but rock his hips in with an overwhelmed sound.

Michael went heavy on top of him, pushing his whole weight down and rubbing his mouth against the back of Dan’s neck. Dan dizzily realized that Michael was probably going to bite him; bruise him and mark him and stake his claim on him for anyone to see.

The idea didn’t fluster him the way he thought it would. In fact, it made his insides feel like molten lava and he groaned as he spread his legs wider for Michael’s dick.

Michael pushed his hands down and grabbed Dan’s ass, spreading his cheeks so he could dig his dick in that much deeper; suddenly Michael’s knot was putting pressure on his sweet spot and Dan’s vision went white.

Dan thrashed with a shout, and Michael’s teeth sank sharply into the back of his neck with a fucking _growl_. Dan gasped hoarsely, the growl reverberating down his spine like a thunderclap, and Michael’s hips couldn’t do anything else now but hitch in and keep rubbing that knot against Dan’s prostate.

Dan was so overwhelmed he felt tears spring to his eyes, but the idea of trying to make Michael stop wasn’t even a wisp of a thought. Michael’s alpha scent was all he could breathe, and it was pumping his body full of want with every inhale.

He was getting hard again, throbbing painfully with every rapid beat of his heart, and his cock was getting rubbed roughly against the already sticky sheets. He was going to come again and it was going to be _brutal_ ; too fast and too much but with Michael’s knot taking up space in his body and his scent filling Dan’s lungs he couldn’t fight it if he tried.

Pressure, pressure, pressure, constant pressure against his sweet spot and Dan could barely breathe; dizzy and hazy until something snapped and he shouted against the mattress as his whole body tensed and forced another orgasm to tear through him.

Michael whined and cried out, humping in hard and jerky, his swollen knot tugging mercilessly at Dan’s rim and his teeth sinking back into his neck hard enough that Dan felt him break skin.

Dan was pretty sure he passed out. He just knew that when he was next aware, Michael was smearing open-mouthed kisses across his shoulders and his knot was still throbbing and pulsing in Dan’s ass.

Dan groaned, and Michael paused before returning to his kisses.

“You okay?” Michael whispered after a moment, and Dan honestly wasn’t sure. He felt like all his insides has been replaced with cotton stuffing.

“That was...” he rasped in a barely-audible whisper, and he honestly had no idea how to finish that sentence.

“I know,” Michael whispered back.

“How long?” he asked, and Michael gave him a confused grunt, “How long until your knot goes down?”

“No idea,” Michael rubbed his mouth against Dan’s shoulder dreamily, “It’s never felt like this. Knotting. It’s never felt like this before.”

Something like pride bloomed in Dan’s chest, and he wished he could touch Michael better. Next time, they were doing this face-to-face.

The smell of Michael’s musk, pheromones, whatever the hell it was that had filled Dan’s head with lust, was still hanging around the room. It wasn’t making Dan feel crazy with desire anymore, but he still felt hazy and his body seemed perfectly happy to be stuck on Michael’s knot for the foreseeable future.

He got it now. Why so many people queued up for the chance to fuck an alpha. He wanted to do this every day for the rest of his life.

“Love you, Dan,” Michael sighed, “I mean it.”

Dan thought his body couldn’t feel any meltier, but hearing Michael say that was still new and beautiful.

“Love you too, Michael.”


	3. Hogwarts AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, some of these aren't explicit!

Professor McGonagall was out to get him. It was the only explanation.

“Hey there, partner!” Michael Swaim clapped him heartily on the back, and Dan gave a quiet “oof!” at the impact.

Dan sighed, “Hello.”

“Remember, though you’re only turning in one complete report, I will be collecting your individual research as part of your grade, so I expect an even distribution of work. Anyone not pulling their weight _will_ get a reduced grade!” McGonagall said sternly, “Off you go.”

Dan sighed, then opened his transfiguration book.

“So, what should we report on?” Michael asked cheerfully, pulling his heavily abused book out of his bag, and Dan gaped in horror at the condition of it in comparison to his pristine, clean one.

“Ugh...” Dan fumbled for a second, “I was thinking the effect of prolonged object transfiguration on living things.”

The smile slipped off Michael’s face a bit, and Dan fiddled with his quill anxiously, “Unless... you have... an idea?”

“How about... part transfiguration? Like if you can give someone a dog head and keep it that way. Oo! Would they have a dog brain, and forget that they’re human? Or what if you gave a regular person goat legs? Would they have to be reclassified as a satyr? Or-”

“Ah, okay!” Dan interrupted, “That... we can work with that, sure.”

“Awesome!” Michael chirped, and Dan gave him a weak smile.

This was going to be the longest two weeks of his life.

Dan honestly wondered if it was McGonagall playing a practical joke on him.

He couldn’t fathom why. He was a good student, he turned his work in on time, got good grades, had never been the cause of any point deductions from Hufflepuff. Why on earth he had been paired with the most infamous party boy and general idiot of Gryffindor house was absolutely beyond him.

It was like pulling teeth to get him to commit to library time, and more often than not, Dan ended up doing research alone. If he was lucky Michael would show up obscenely late and only be mildly useful. More frequently, Michael would just waste time or complain.

He had no problem pestering Dan about other things, though. He invited himself to sit with Dan during lunch, bullshitting about any array of random and weird topics, and Dan did his best to politely respond.

Michael was a weird guy. Weirder than Dan had first thought, and he was wondering with increasing bewilderment how Michael managed to be so popular.

He very quickly came to realize it was because Michael was the type to show up to parties with just the right potions the make everyone happy to see him.

During one of the lunches Michael had forced his presence onto Dan, Dan watched with alarm as a Slytherin named Raoul slipped Michael some brightly colored potions and a mysterious apothecary bag in exchange for a handful of galleons.

Michael tucked it all in his pocket with a smirk and a wink at Raoul, then jumped back into his train of thought about Quidditch like nothing had even happened.

“Michael, what the hell is that stuff?” Dan asked nervously, and Michael gave him a confused look, “The stuff you literally just put in your pocket, Michael, what is that?”

“Oh!” Michael chortled, “Just some supplies for the post-Quidditch party tonight, if you know what I mean. We’re gonna kill Ravenclaw today, I’m knocking Barrs right off his broom, no mercy.”

Michael mimicked swinging his beater’s bat, biting his lower lip between his teeth and scowling, and Dan looked around worriedly for any signs of eavesdroppers before opening his mouth.

“ _‘Supplies’?_ For the love of Merlin, Michael, please tell me those are not peak potions,” Dan whispered worriedly.

Peak potions were like concentrated euphoria potions, only a lot more intense and a lot scarier. They were also illegal, and the idea of a bunch of rowdy Gryffindors downing vials of peak potions for a night of partying sounded like a swath of destruction waiting to happen.

“Shut up, Dan, anyone could hear you,” Michael hissed with a glare, and Dan put his head in his hands.

“Oh sweet Helga’s ghost, you’ve just made me an accomplice to drug distribution,” Dan groaned under his breath, and Michael chortled.

“Stop worrying so much. It’s all under control, Dan, I’ve got this. But if you squeal, I’m feeding you to the Giant Squid,” Michael informed him, and Dan looked up to find Michael’s face serenely serious, and Dan swallowed.

“Right,” he squeaked, and Michael smiled before going back to talking about Quidditch.

He couldn’t wait until this assignment was over and he could avoid Michael like the plague.

A week into their allotted assignment time, and Dan had undoubtedly done the bulk of the work, which was pissing him off. He didn’t even _want_ this stupid topic, this was all Michael’s idea. He could care less if Michael passed or failed, that was Michael’s problem; he _did_ care, however, that he had been nice and compromised his topic for his work partner but ended up saddled with all the work.

On one of the rare occasions Michael actually showed up and cracked a book, he inevitably started complaining about how boring it was to read for hours, couldn’t they just actually transfigure some stuff and see what happens?

“Dan, seriously, I know a few first years pinched for cash, it would be an easy sell to get them to let us,” Michael pleaded, and to say that Dan was alarmed was an understatement.

“Michael, just-” Dan said frustratedly, “Just do the research, I’m begging you.”

“Ugh, _fiiiiiiine_ ,” Michael sighed dramatically, “God, you’re such a buzzkill, Dan, no wonder you’re a ‘Puff.”

It was the last straw. Something in Dan just snapped, he’d had enough. He silently grabbed his books and left the table, his face burning and anger taking up all the space in his head.

“Dan? Dan!” Michael called after him, earning him a stern “Shh!” from Madame Pince that he ignored, “Hey! Come back!”

Dan was proud of his house. It was filled with good, hard-working, generous people he was proud to call his housemates. Just because they weren't flashy and boastful like the Gryffindors didn't mean they were boring, and it certainly didn't mean Dan had to put up with being criticized for it.

Michael fucking Swaim shitting on them should not affect him, he should be able to blow it off by now, he should be used to the insults. It was easier said than done.

He was barely halfway down the hallway when he could hear Michael clomping after him, and even Michael’s loud, obnoxious footsteps were making him angry.

“Go away,” Dan said icily as Michael slowed down to walk in step with him, and Michael huffed.

“What’s the matter with you? Why are you being weird?” Michael persisted, and Dan glared at him.

“You know, Hufflepuffs aren’t a bunch of braggarts like you Gryffindors, but we’re just as great,” Dan said hotly, stopping and pushing a finger against Michael’s chest, “No, actually, I daresay we’re _better_ because of it, so you can take your ‘Hufflepuffs are lame’ bullshit and shove it right up your ass, Michael, you really can. And while you’re at it, you can shove your stupid topic up there too, because I’m not doing all the work on this project for a topic I don’t care about. I’m doing my thing, and you’re on your own.”

Michael at least had the decency to look shocked, and Dan felt a nugget of satisfaction in that, so he walked away before Michael could ruin it for him.

He spent the next few days avoiding Michael at all costs, and trying to catch up on the research for his transfiguration paper on the long term effects of object transformation on living things.

Michael had tried to talk to him during class, and Dan threatened to hex him if he didn’t leave him alone. He wasn’t sure if Michael had taken him seriously or not, but he at least took the hint that Dan was really ticked off at him.

Three days before their assignment was due, Dan woke up in the middle of the night to the sensation of someone clamping a hand over his mouth.

He jolted awake, flailing in terror, and whoever it was just grabbed one of his arms and shushed him urgently.

“Dan, it’s me, it’s Michael!” Michael hissed in the darkness, and Dan stopped flailing, but his heart was still pounding a mile a minute with fright. When Dan was still, Michael slowly released his face, and Dan sat up, pushing Michael away from him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dan whispered hotly, “How the hell did you get into Hufflepuff?”

“Someone owed me a favor,” Michael brushed off briskly, “Listen! That’s not important, what’s _important_ is that you need to come with me right now.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Dan growled, still keeping his voice as soft as possible while trying to sound intimidating, “You’re a pain in the ass, Michael, I’m going back to sleep.”

“Don’t make me stun you,” Michael said with a huff, “I mean it, Dan, I’ll do it. Just come on, if you don’t like it you can go back to bed and I’ll never bother you again.”

“You _swear_?” Dan frowned, “You swear you’ll stop bugging me if I come with you right now?”

“I swear on my life,” Michael promised, and while Dan didn’t entirely believe him, he also didn’t really want to get stunned, so he angrily threw the covers off.

“Fine, _fine!_ ” Dan sighed with irritation, “This better be good, Michael.”

“It is, I promise,” Michael said excitedly, and Dan hurriedly changed into his robes. The sooner he could get this madness over with, the better.

They snuck out of the common room, and Dan followed Michael stealthily back toward Gryffindor tower.

Dan jumped at every noise, terrified that they were going to get caught, but Michael seemed confident and lead them quickly and quietly until they were in front of a huge painting of a lady in a pink dress.

She was sleeping and snoring lightly, and Michael tapped authoritatively on the painting frame.

She jolted awake with a start, and gave him a dirty look.

“You’re out very late,” she said grumpily, then eyed Dan, who blushed.

“All part of the master plan, my beautiful lady,” Michael sweet talked, “Will you allow us to pass beyond your lovely self?”

She rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth was twitching up in a begrudging smile, “Password?”

“Dragonblood,” Michael answered, and the portrait swung forward to admit them.

The Gryffindor common room was dark except for a few glowing embers in the fire, and Dan peered around curiously at what he could make out in the red and gold room. Michael didn’t give him much time to dawdle, though, and actually reached back and took Dan’s hand to pull him forward toward a stairwell that Dan assumed lead to the dorms.

Dan pulled his hand out of Michael’s grasp, but kept pace with him as they traveled up the stairs.

They entered what had to be Michael’s dorm room, and Michael grabbed a broomstick from the foot of his bed as well as a knapsack that he slung over his shoulder. Then before Dan could do much more than gasp, Michael had opened the window and climbed out, leaping into the air and sliding effortlessly onto his broomstick. He circled back to the window with a big smile on his face.

“Come on!” he held his hand out to Dan, and Dan gaped at him.

“Are you crazy?!” Dan whispered back, “No way!”

“Come on, Dan, you’ve seen me fly, you know I’m great!” Michael responded in a confident whisper, hovering effortlessly next to the window, “Come on, please?”

Dan put his face in his hands with a soft groan, then climbed up onto the window sill. _Why_ he was going along with Michael’s insane idea was truly beyond him, and he shook as he put one leg, then the other, over the edge of the sill.

“If you get me killed I swear to god I will haunt you for the rest of your life,” Dan said shakily, and Michael guided the broom closer with a snort.

“I’m not worried,” he replied confidently, and Dan reached out to grip his shoulder tightly and he finally slipped off the window sill and onto the back of the broom with a terrified squeak.

“Have you never been on a broom before or what?” Michael laughed, reaching back and pulling Dan’s arms around his waist as he guided the broom away from Gryffindor tower and out over the grounds.

“Of course I have, I just don’t like it,” Dan moaned, “A little twig between me and a horrific death on the ground below is not on my list of favorite activities.”

Michael laugh, and Dan held on tighter as Michael urged the broom to pick up the pace.

“Please tell me we’re not leaving the Hogwarts grounds!” Dan pleaded, “I really don’t want to be expelled, Michael!”

“Relax,” Michael sighed, “We’re not.”

Instead, and almost just as alarmingly, Michael flew them over the Forbidden Forest.

“We’re going to die,” Dan groaned, “I’m going to die, _and_ be expelled!”

The broom slowed until it came to a stop, and suddenly Michael was twisting sideways and slinging his leg over the broomhandle so he was sitting side-saddle, and Dan gripped his robes in terror.

“ _Dan,_ ” Michael said exasperatedly, “You have _got_ to relax. I’ve got you, okay? I promise, you’re not going to be expelled or die, you’re learning to live a little, that’s all!”

“By doing what, exactly?” Dan asked nervously, and Michael patted his knee with a smile before swinging back around to face forward on the broom.

That seemed to be all the answer he was going to get, and Dan just gripped Michael’s robes and prayed that if they got killed it would be a fast death.

The flew for about a half hour, then Michael slowed down until they were flying along at a crawl, almost brushing the tops of the trees.

“Gimme your hand,” Michael said as he wrapped his fingers around one of Dan’s hands around his waist, and before Dan could protest, Michael was guiding both their hands down toward the tree leaves below.

Dan gasped as every leaf they brushed burst into a beautiful, pastel blue glow, and Michael flew them over the tops of the trees in a little circle.

“Holy shit,” Dan whispered, flexing his fingers to touch the leaves more fully. They were soft and fuzzy, and burst into light at every brush of their fingertips.

“What is this?” Dan asked, and Michael shrugged one shoulder.

“Just a patch of glow oaks,” he said, “I found them a couple years ago when I was out for a midnight fly. Neat, huh?”

“Yeah...” Dan agreed quietly, watching the leaves illuminate beautifully.

When the circle was complete, Michael guided the broom through a small opening in the foliage, and Dan looked up at the glowing leaves with continual wonder.

“Watch this,” Michael said, drawing his wand and waving it in a quick circle above their heads, “Expirato!”

With a _whoosh!_ , a gust of wind ripped through the treetops, and Michael rocketed them skyward.

Dan gasped and griped Michael’s waist for dear life, “What-?!”

Dan’s voice faltered when they burst through the top of the trees and into a glowing swirl of dust that took Dan’s breath away.

“What the hell?” he asked in a much quieter tone than he was anticipating, and Michael chuckled.

“Pollen,” he answered simply, “It glows too.”

It was like getting caught in a storm of stardust, and Dan watched with awe as it settled on their clothes and Michael’s hair like snow.

“This is beautiful,” Dan couldn’t help but murmur, and Michael swung around again on the broom, but this time he kept going until he was facing backwards on the broom and they were completely face to face.

The glow pollen was even stuck on Michael’s eyelashes and a few dusted his cheeks, almost giving him an ethereal glow, and Dan wondered if he looked like that too.

Dan was nervous about Michael’s ability to keep them in the air when he was riding the broom backwards, but the broom stayed steady and true, taking them in a lazy circle through the glow oaks.

“You like it?” Michael asked with a smile, and Dan nodded, but his brows were furrowed in confusion.

“It’s amazing, but...” he said, and Michael’s smile faded away, “Why did you show me this? It just seems really random.”

Michael looked away from him and out to the surrounding trees, and Dan suddenly felt nervous.

“I’m sorry if you thought I meant to call Hufflepuffs lame,” Michael said quietly, “That’s not really what I meant. I was just trying to tease you.”

“Oh,” Dan replied lamely. He hadn’t been expecting that.

“Oh! And, here-” Michael dug into the knapsack still slung over his shoulder, and pulled out a roll of parchment. He handed it to Dan, who pulled out his wand and whispered _Lumos_ in order to read it.

It was some research about transfiguration, and more specifically, it was about Dan’s topic of object transfiguration.

“There’s more,” Michael hurried to add, “There’s a bunch in my bag, you can read them whenever. I’m sorry I haven’t been helping you.”

Dan extinguished his wand before rolling the parchment back up and handing it back to Michael, who took it with a worried look.

“Why did you do all of this?” Dan asked, “I don’t understand.”

Michael slid the parchment back into his bag, and wouldn’t meet Dan’s eyes.

“I’d really like you to be my friend,” Michael said quietly, “And I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore...”

A feather could have knocked Dan over at that moment, it felt so out of left field.

“Why?” Dan couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, then quickly added, “Why do you want _me_ to be your friend? Why on earth would you want to hang out with me?”

Michael shrugged one shoulder again, “I just like you. You’re not as noisy as everyone else. I feel like I can think around you.”

Of all the thing he could have expected Michael Swaim to say, that was certainly not one of them, and Dan just stared blankly at him for a minute.

He opened his mouth, but wasn’t sure what to say, so he closed it again, and Michael adjusted his knapsack awkwardly.

“Anyway,” Michael mumbled, “We can go back, if you want.”

A small gust of natural wind sent the glowing pollen swirling around them, and Michael shifted to swing his legs over the side of the broom and turn back around.

“Ugh,” Dan stammered, “Thanks, for... showing me this. And, you know, the research.”

“You’re welcome,” Michael mumbled, as they started to fly back toward the castle.

Dan glanced back at the glowing trees, watching them slowly fade as they flew, and considered everything Michael had said.

By the time they made it back, all the glow pollen had been blown off of their clothes and hair, and Dan was surprised to find he was disappointed that it was over.

Michael landed them on the side of the castle, not back at Gryffindor tower, and Dan dismounted unsteadily from the back of the broom with mild confusion.

“Climb through that window and you should end up right in your common room,” Michael informed him, and Dan crouched down to confirm that, wow, he was right.

“Thanks,” Dan said lamely, and Michael nodded, hovering effortlessly a few inches off the ground.

“Well... see you tomorrow,” Michael said, starting to pull up, and Dan reached up to grab his sleeve at the last second.

“Hey,” Dan said, and Michael sank back down so they were eye to eye, “Ugh... listen. Thanks for... you know. All this. And... wanting to be my friend. Not a ton of people do.”

Michael seemed taken aback, and Dan awkwardly held his hand out, “So anyway... friends, yeah?”

Michael’s face lit up, and he yanked Dan forward to pull him into a tight hug.

“Oof!” Dan wheezed, “Woah, okay!”

Dan pushed Michael back as politely as he could, and Michael let him, still smiling, and Dan patted him on the shoulder.

“Right, so. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow,” Michael laughed, and squeezed his hand, then let go and shot up in the air to head back to Gryffindor tower.

“Merlin’s beard,” Dan sighed, “What on earth did I get myself into?”

He shook his head, then tugged carefully on the window. It squeaked a little as it opened, but he managed to get it open enough to get down and wiggle in. He was happy to be going back to bed, but mildly nervous about the next day. Being Michael Swaim’s friend was bound to be... interesting.

To his credit, when they sat down for lunch the following afternoon, Dan went over the research Michael had done and found it surprisingly well done.

“Wow,” Dan said, reading it as he ate his sandwich, and Michael munched noisily on an apple, “This is... really good, Michael.”

“Thanks,” Michael grinned, and Dan set the parchment aside to look at him with furrowed brows.

“That wind spell you did the other night was some really good charm work too,” Dan added, and Michael puffed up a little more.

“Flitwick says I’ve got a knack,” Michael winked, “You should see the snowmen I can magic up this winter. I almost got it to the top of the Gryffindor tower last year.”

“That was _you_?!” Dan gaped, and Michael clicked his tongue and winked again.

“So what’s the deal, then?” Dan couldn’t help but ask, “You put on this show like you can’t be bothered with schoolwork but then you can do these amazing charms and clearly you have no problem doing research.”

Dan indicated the pile of parchment at his elbow, and Michael shrugged.

“I gotta image to uphold, man, what can I say? Can’t be letting people get the wrong idea, I’ve got _street cred_ at stake.”

Dan sighed, and shook his head, “Well I hate to break it to you, but hanging out with me won’t exactly help your ‘street cred’.”

“No, but it’ll help _yours_ ,” Michael informed him with a laugh, and Dan chuckled too despite himself.

“Thanks, I think?”

“You’re welcome! Before you know it you’ll be tough enough to ride with the Slytherins.”

Dan shuddered at the thought. He didn’t buy into the “all Slytherins are evil” thing, he was sure most people weren’t capable of being 100% evil (except He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, perhaps), but Slytherins did tend to be an aloof, tough bunch. Dan was far from confident enough to be cool and intimidating like the Slytherins.

“Yeah, right,” Dan said instead, and Michael reached across the table to pat him on the arm.

“Let’s go for a walk!” Michael suddenly said, and Dan checked his watch. They had the time, if they were quick about it.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he agreed, packing up all the parchment into his bag.

It was a nice day, admittedly, and Dan breathed deep as they walked around the edge of the lake.

“So what’s you’re story?” Dan couldn’t help but ask, as they stopped on the far side of the lake for Michael to collect stones.

“What story are you looking for?” Michael asked him back, and Dan shrugged one shoulder.

“Did you grow up in a wizard family?”

Michael paused as he reached down for a stone, and Dan was immediately curious.

“I’m muggle born,” Dan decided to offer, as Michael straightened up again, “It’s, ugh... not exactly the most stellar thing in my family. I’ve got two brothers who aren’t magic, so it makes things kind of awkward.”

Michael skipped a stone across the still water of the lake, and Dan slid his hands into his pockets.

“Half,” Michael said after a moment, “On my dad’s side.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Dan said, “Must have been nice, growing up with some magic in the family. I had to start from scratch, I didn’t know anything about magic or the wizarding world. I thought someone was playing a joke on me.”

“Uh, well, my dad wasn’t really in the picture,” Michael added, looking steadfastly at the water and skipping another stone. Dan was smart enough to sense a painful topic when he saw one, and he immediately backed off, going a bit red and flustered.

“Right,” he said, “Well, that’s... that’s sucky, man, I’m sorry.”

Michael shrugged and threw another stone.

“Hey,” Dan said, nudging him gently with his elbow, “You’ve got a match against Slytherin coming up, don’t you?”

Michael brightened a little, and let Dan change the topic to Quidditch as they finished their walk around the lake. Michael was more complicated than Dan had given him credit for, it seemed.

“Michael, you’re going to be late, get going!” Dan had to interrupt him as they stood in front of Dan’s Ancient Runes classroom, and Dan gently shoved his shoulders in the direction of the dungeons to make him go to Potions class.

“See you at dinner, then!” Michael shouted as he started sprinting, and Dan sighed and shook his head before going to class himself.

However unlikely it had seemed, he was finding that Michael wasn’t so bad. He was certainly weird, and definitely mildly crazy, but there was a fierce intelligence hiding under all the strangeness and quirky personality.

Maybe this friendship would work out after all. He was never questioning McGonagall again.


	4. Danielle/Michael, Sexy Bomb Scare

It all started when they were under her desk, thinking they were about to die. Michael was always close to her, always in her space, but this was different. He was looking at her fondly, and his shoulder was pressed against hers and the only thought she had left was that Michael’s face looking at her so sweetly was not a bad thing to see before she died.

Then the bomb gave a little blip, and she had nothing left to lose so she grabbed Michael’s face and kissed him.

Michael made a sharp sound and immediately reacted, kissing her back and tangling his fingers in her hair.

It was the most beautiful, intense kiss of her life, and it wasn’t until T-Bone rapped on the desk above their heads and asked them if they were okay that she realized that they weren’t dead.

She was shaking as she let Michael go and climbed out from under the desk, mortified and flustered at both her behavior and the fact that they were still alive.

T-Bone was scary; on that, her and Michael agreed, and she made them talk about the live-blog instead of what had just happened.

But she knew better than to think that Michael would just let it go.

T-Bone left, and it was just them again, and Michael grabbed her as soon as the elevator doors closed behind him.

“ _Michael!_ ” she gasped with alarm, putting her hands on his chest and keeping him back, “What the _hell_ -?”

“Picking up where we left off,” Michael said, and _fuck_ his eyes were _burning_ with want, “Don’t try to tell me you kissed me by accident, we both know that’s bullshit.”

“I- I-” Danielle stammered, still keeping her hands pressed against his chest as her face went scarlet, “That was... a heat of the moment decision. Based on the fact that I thought we were going to die.”

“And I kissed you back based on the fact that you’re _fucking hot_ and we should bone.”

Danielle gasped, her face somehow getting even redder, and Michael licked his lips and looked at her mouth.

“ _Jesus_ , Michael, stop it,” she said, anger starting to creep in, which was far more comforting than the embarrassment, “It’s bad enough you almost got us killed today, just knock it the fuck off with the lying.”

Michael frowned, and Danielle finally pushed herself to shove him away instead of just holding him back, and Michael pouted.

“What am I lying about?”

Danielle turned to straighten up her desk, and her hands were shaking.

“You don’t want to have sex with me, you just think because... because of under the desk. When I thought we were going to die. You’re making fun of me.”

“ _What_ the everliving _fuck_ are you talking about?” Michael practically shouted, startling her, and she looked at him with wide eyes, “I’ve been trying to get you to sleep with me for _months_ you absolute _dipshit_. And you were hot as all fuck today, I’ve never been harder for you in my _life_.”

Danielle’s heart was in her throat, and her mind briefly flashed to the moment when she had taken charge of the situation, commanding him to keep live-blogging while she searched for the bomb, _“I’ve never been more attracted to you.”_

He had looked _wrecked_ and _hungry_ and it had taken all of her willpower not to jump him right then, the live-blog and the bomb be damned.

That look was back on his face, his eyes tracking up and down her body and he licked his lips again. She suddenly felt self-conscious about the fact that she was practically half-naked; her dress shirt was gone, with just her vest buttoned up as an improvised tank top and the only thing keeping her from being completely indecent, and her pant legs rolled up as high as she could get them.

She had done it in a hurry, for better movement as she climbed into strange places around the office and because it was _fucking hot_ in there; the emergency shutdown must have included the air conditioning and the whole floor had been slowly rising in temperature.

Michael was staring at her like he wanted to devour her, his eyes flicking back up to her face and she was really, _really_ an idiot.

She crossed the small distance between them, grabbing his face and pulling him down into a bruising kiss before she could change her mind; he made a wounded sound, his arms wrapping around her so tight it almost hurt. It was frantic and desperate, and his hands moved down to palm her ass and pull her against him tighter, making her feel the bulging hardness behind his zipper.

It was _ridiculous_ how much she had fantasized about his dick. Ever since the first time she had seen it, she’d been _fascinated_ by it’s strange look, and tormented with curiosity at what it would feel like inside her.

She wanted to find out, she wanted to find out _now_ and maybe Michael was reading her mind because he was taking them both to the floor with a groan.

She immediately welcomed him between her thighs, and Michael pressed his dick against her in a hard rub through their clothes.

She ran her hands over him with a moan, unabashedly appreciating how fucking _sexy_ he looked right now. Sweat-damp tank shirt that was almost sheer, and while those camo pants had looked kind of strange with a yellow dress shirt earlier, now he just looked _hot_. She wanted to lick his collarbones, she wanted to dig her nails into the little love handles he had, she wanted to watch his strange dick disappearing into her pussy.

Michael broke the kiss to roughly pull her vest open, sending the buttons flying, and she couldn’t even be mad about it when he moaned like he was dying at the sight of her breasts.

“Fucking _look_ at you,” he groaned, sitting back on his heels and cupping her through the fabric of her bra, “You’re fucking _gorgeous_.”

Danielle put her hands over her face, burning with embarrassment, and fervently hoping that he wasn’t going to constantly talk through this entire thing.

“Shut up, Michael,” she groaned, bringing her hands down and placing them over his on her tits, guiding him to squeeze a little harder, and Michael moaned again. She arched up off the floor to get to the hooks on the back of her bra as Michael thumbed her nipples through the fabric, but as soon as the clasp was open he was helping her out of her now button-less vest and sliding her bra down her arms and off.

Michael moaned again as he finally got to see her completely bare-chested, cupping her in his hands and rubbing her stiff nipples with his thumbs before ducking his head and taking one in his mouth.

She arched, pushing herself against his lips, and he bit gently at her, making her shake and jerk.

She fumbled to get a grip on his tank shirt, and started tugging it up toward his head. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, didn’t want a single thing getting in the way of her touch all over him.

She got it up to his shoulders before he seemed to notice, and pulled back just long enough to help her tug it over his head, his sunglasses and ID lanyard going flying with it.

He paused to smile at her, and she felt hot and embarrassed again.

She distracted herself by running her hands down his chest, and he gave a warm hum before lowering his head again and rubbing his face between her tits.

Then he kissed his way down, with a brief pause to dip his tongue into her navel, making her squirm and gasp, until he was hurriedly undoing the button on her dress pants and tugging them down along with her underwear.

He moaned wantonly as he tossed them to the side and parted her thighs, and she didn’t have any time to be embarrassed because he was immediately shoving his hands under her ass and pulling her up as he bent down to shove his face against her pussy.

She gasped loudly in shock, and he pushed his tongue right inside her body with a groan before licking up between her folds to flick the point of his tongue against her clit.

Danielle was going to die. She was just going to spontaneously combust, leaving nothing but scorch marks on the carpet and everywhere Michael was touching her.

Michael moaned against her and she writhed, making him grip her ass harder to keep her against his mouth. He was _ruthless_ , pressing right against her clit with hard, rapid flicks and rubs of his tongue and she was quite possibly going to go insane.

Her arms flailed around, unsure of what to do, and then he pressed his teeth against her and she gasped, grabbing a fistful of his hair in a vice-like grip.

He fucking _snickered_ the absolute _dickbag_ and she really considered clocking him. But then he was sucking gently on her clit while his tongue moved rapidly from side to side, and the pleasure was so intense she could barely breathe.

Her orgasm overtook her in a hot rush, bowing her back and twisting her body and he held tight to her, just rubbing and rubbing his tongue until it fucking _hurt_ and she scrambled to get away and push him off of her.

He panted and pulled her back, and she cried out at the rough rub of the carpet against her back, but then he was pulling her hips down against his and she gasped at the feel of him pressing hard and thick through his pants against her cunt.

Michael groaned, rocking against her desperately, and she shoved her hands down between them to undo the button and zipper of his pants.

Michael gasped and bucked, and frantically started rifling through his pockets. She had no idea what he was doing until he pulled out a handful of condoms and tore one open with his teeth.

She was momentarily seized with shame at the fact that _Michael_ was the one still thinking clearly enough to be concerned with safe sex, but then he was shoving the waistband of his pants down and _of course_ he wasn't wearing any underwear.

She groaned as his dick sprang up from the confines of his pants, still fucking _weird_ but also big and thick and flushed, with shiny precome leaking from the tip.

Michael hurriedly rolled the condom down his shaft, and the next thing she knew he was pushing inside her.

She gasped and choked at the sudden shock, and Michael moaned noisily as he shoved in all the way to the hilt.

Danielle buried one hand in his hair and the other gripped his shoulder, digging her nails in at the way he was forcing her body to stretch uncomfortably to accommodate him.

“You’re alright, baby,” he murmured, which was an asshole thing to say, but then he was sliding his hands under her shoulders and gripping tight, using the leverage to pull her down onto him that much deeper. Then he just _rocked_ for a minute, flexing his hips in and watching her face and it suddenly felt _amazing_.

“You’re such an asshole,” she groaned, and he fucking _laughed_ at her and ducked his head down to kiss her breasts as he started moving.

They went from zero to sixty in a blink of an eye, Michael’s hips pistoning in and out jackrabbit fast and she could barely breathe at how unexpectedly incredible he felt.

She was making the most embarrassing noises, and she pulled her knees up as high as she could against his sides, chasing that tightness that would rub him just right inside her and make it all go supernova again.

He grunted and hooked an arm under one of her knees, pulling her leg up that little bit higher and tighter, and _fuck_ , that was _it_.

She gasped and cried out and thrashed under him as it built and built and built; his fucking weird, _weird_ , incredible, sex toy dick pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

Michael angled his head up to kiss her neck, a hot, filthy rub of his mouth and tongue and a shy flash of teeth, “I got ya, baby. Come on, love.”

It was shameful, _shameful_ how Michael calling her “love” cranked her dial so hard, and it took only a few more rough, rapid thrusts of his hips before she was coming again, crying out and clinging to him as her body tensed and arched and shook.

“Oh fuck, oh _fuck_ ,” Michael gasped harshly, getting rough and erratic and muffling his strained cry against her chest as he curled over her and came _hard_.

Danielle whimpered, her pussy clenching spastically in the aftershocks and Michael gasped and whined with every one.

He stayed with her until the tremors started to fade and the way he had her leg hiked up was starting to ache and cramp, and she found the strength to push gently at his shoulder.

He took a sharp breath in, and she realized he had been falling asleep. Typical.

She rolled her eyes and he let her leg down, rubbing soothingly at her aching hip with his hand, which was surprisingly sweet of him.

Michael lifted his head, looking sleepy and content, and she brushed her fingers through his hair gently.

“I don't want to pretend this didn't happen,” he said quietly, catching her off guard, “and I don’t want it to be the only time.”

He looked earnest and sweet, and Danielle’s heart fluttered. She had expected the exact opposite of him; for her to be just another notch on his bedpost, an achievement that he ticked the checkbox of and moved on.

He turned his head and kissed her hand, and she swallowed.

“I...” she started, curling her fingers against the side of his face, when suddenly The Chief’s voice boomed through the building.

**“Attention mindless employees: the bomb had been neutralized. The office is now safe. Get back to work.”**

Danielle and Michael looked at each other, and the sudden panic of being caught completely naked in her cubicle, with Michael still inside her, jolted her into action. She pushed Michael back, ignoring his disappointed frown and shivering a little at the feeling of his cock sliding out of her.

“We have to get dressed,” she said, sitting up and fumbling for her pants and trying to find where she had left her button up shirt earlier. It was on top of the TV, and Michael snickered when her legs nearly buckled as she tried to stand up to get it.

“Shut up, Michael,” she snapped, flustered and freaked out; they _reeked_ of sex, there was no way everyone wasn't going to _know_.

Michael pulled his pants up and tossed the condom in the trash can beside her desk carelessly, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance.

She managed to get dressed with fumbling fingers, and Michael just stood there and watched, still shirtless but seemingly completely unbothered by it.

When the last button was done up and her pant legs rolled down, Michael startled her by pulling her against him in a tight hug.

“Thank you for letting me make you feel good,” he murmured, and she froze with shock, “I really hope it's not the last time.”

 _Who is this man?!_ She thought disorientedly, completely flabbergasted at Michael's gentle manner.

He pressed a quick, warm kiss to her mouth a second before the elevator dinged, signalling the return of their coworkers, and then he was scooping his sunglasses and shirt up off the floor and putting them on.

“Hey look!” he said cheerfully a moment after that, pointing to the comments on the live blog, “Someone called you a dyke for calling Regis a penis in a suit.”

“Pretty sure you called him that.”

“Oh yeah. I'm a genius!”

Michael sat in her chair, refreshing the page again to see if there were any more, and Danielle just looked at his profile.

If he asked, if he really wanted to, she’d have sex with him again.

Michael had the attention span of a fly, so she doubted he'd even remember fucking her come this afternoon, and she tried to talk herself out of being disappointed by that. She couldn’t hold out hope that Michael would ever express an interest in her again.

She excused herself and went to the bathroom, and she ran wet paper towels over her body in one of the stalls to wipe the sex smell away and at least be half way presentable.

When she returned to her cubicle Michael was in the extra chair instead of her wheeled chair, his feet propped up on the edge of her desk and eating another rice krispy treat.

She shoved his feet off her desk as she went by him, and he pouted.

“Don't you have work to be doing?” she asked him, and he put his feet back up on the desk, despite her glare.

“I'm supervising your work,” he said, “Gotta make sure you’re not slacking off.”

Danielle snorted and he gave her that stupidly charming smile that made her insides feel squiggly.

“Yeah, well, just,” she sputtered lamely, “be quiet and let me do it, then.”

“Won't even know I'm here, Elle,” he grinned, and then immediately picked up his acoustic guitar and started fucking around with it.

She blushed at the nickname and the way he watched her as he strummed, then resolutely turned back to her computer.

He drove her absolutely crazy. She should not be hoping for a repeat performance of today's activities, but it was there, tugging at the back of her brain.

She was completely out of her mind. Michael had drove her there, and there was no turning back.

Crap.


	5. Bed Sharing, Version 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-explicit and slightly mushy. Also partially a sickfic featuring vomiting, but it's not graphic.

Abstractly, Dan knew that Michael broke into his apartment on a regular basis. “Abstractly” being a key word in this because while Michael openly admitted it, Dan had never actually caught him or seen any evidence of his presence.

It made him wonder if it was really true, or if Michael just said it to mess with him. Either answer wouldn’t surprise him, he just couldn’t parse which it was.

For good measure, he changed his locks (more than once), but Michael always seemed to allude to it being a temporary roadblock before finding his way back in.

And Dan really couldn’t get it. He had no idea why Michael was so keen to follow him home, after they spent almost every second of the work day together. Michael was always complaining that Dan was boring and a killjoy, what could Michael possibly glean from breaking into Dan’s place?

It wasn’t until somewhere in the second year of their partnership that Dan actually caught Michael in his apartment.

Dan was sick. He had felt off all day, and had called it an early night in the hopes of recuperating enough that he could avoid having to call out of work the next day.

No such luck, and Dan woke up at around 1am nauseous and sweating. He fumbled out of bed, and almost tripped over Michael, who apparently had been sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, sleeping.

Michael yelped, and Dan gave a small, terrified scream before scrambling away and turning on the light.

He and Michael squinted at each other, adjusting to the rapid change from dark to light, and Dan put a hand over his chest, panting.

“What the fuck, Michael!” he exclaimed, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Sleeping,” Michael said sheepishly, and Dan kicked him in the shin. Michael yelped again and pouted, rubbing at the spot Dan’s foot had hit.

“Get out,” Dan growled, clenching his stomach and trying to breathe deeply as his nausea intensified, “I don’t have the patience for this, Michael, just get the fuck out.”

Michael was frowning at him, and Dan couldn’t hold out much longer, so he shook his head with a frustrated sound and hurried to the bathroom.

He just made it to the toilet when his stomach decided to empty all of its contents, and he spent a good five minutes on his knees in front of it heaving miserably.

When the last, heavy retch of his stomach finally passed and he could breath again, he fumblingly wiped his mouth with toilet paper and flushed, before closing the lid and putting his head in his arms on top of it for a moment.

He heard soft footsteps stop in the doorway, but he was too miserable to have the energy to tell Michael to go away.

After a moment, Michael entered the bathroom and Dan lifted his head when he heard the tap turn on.

Michael leaned over him to grab the washcloth from the shower curtain rod, and wet it thoroughly in the sink before wringing it out and turning off the water.

Without a word, he kneeled down on the floor next to Dan and put the cool washcloth to his forehead.

Dan stared at him blankly. Michael almost never showed any sort of consideration for anyone, let alone Dan, and Dan had to wonder if maybe he was hallucinating.

The washcloth started to go warm, and Michael flipped it to the cooler side and shifted it to the back of Dan’s neck. It made Dan shiver a little, but it still felt good on his overheated skin.

Dan put his head back down on his arms on the top of the toilet seat. He was starting to feel nauseous again, and woozy on top of it.

After another few minutes he lifted the toilet seat again, dry heaving painfully. He was shocked when Michael rubbed his back comfortingly, keeping the washcloth pressed to the back of his neck.

Tears were stinging his eyes when it finally passed, and he gasped and moaned miserably, spitting as much of the bile taste away as he could before grabbing more toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

“Help me up,” Dan rasped, and Michael grabbed his arm to help him to his feet. Dan unsteadily stood at the sink to brush his teeth, and Michael hovered behind him, holding the washcloth in one hand while the other hovered near Dan’s elbow; seemingly to steady him if he needed it.

Dan rinsed his mouth out and splashed cool water on his face, then gave it a quick dry with his towel before straightening the best he could. Michael held his elbow as Dan made his way slowly back to bed, and Dan couldn’t even be bothered by it. Being cared for by Michael was not a gift horse he was going to look in the mouth.

Michael pulled the covers over him as he laid down again, then disappeared for a moment. Dan had enough time to wonder if Michael had left before he returned to the room, one hand holding the bucket from under Dan’s kitchen sink and the other holding a glass of ice water.

He set the bucket beside the bed and the glass on the nightstand, and Dan couldn’t help but wonder if he had fallen into another dimension. Or maybe he had died on the bathroom floor and was in some kind of weird afterlife.

Either way, Michael was turning out the light for him, then settled back down on the floor, his back to the wall facing Dan’s bed.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked in a whisper, listening to Michael shuffle a little, seemingly trying to get comfortable again.

“I’m staying,” Michael said, almost defiantly, “In case you need help.”

It was the kindest thing Michael had ever offered to him, and Dan felt mildly choked up about it. He quite firmly attributed that to his fever.

“Well you’re not staying on the floor, get up here,” Dan murmured before he could change his mind, and Michael seemed frozen in surprise for a moment.

“Okay,” he finally whispered, getting up and getting into the other side of the bed.

He kept his distance, thankfully, though Dan didn’t know whether it was due to Michael trying to avoid catching whatever the hell Dan had, or out of actual respect for Dan’s personal bubble.

Loathe as Dan normally would be to admit it, Michael’s presence was a blessing. He helped Dan stumble to the bathroom a few times, and waited patiently outside the door when Dan asked him to. He also graciously cleaned out the bucket whenever Dan heaved into it, with not a single complaint in sight.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Dan found himself asking around 4am, despite his earlier promise to himself to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Michael was sitting on the bed next to him, rubbing his back, having just helped him return to bed after Dan spent 15 minutes in the bathroom with the lower part of his digestive track deciding to vacate his body too, just for good measure.

Michael huffed out a low laugh, “You’re sick, Dan, I’m not going to leave you here to die all alone.”

“Comforting that you think I’m going to die,” Dan sighed, and Michael chortled.

“Not while I’m here, you’re not,” Michael assured him, “But all alone, who knows? You could have ended up knocking your own brains out on the toilet seat.”

Dan snorted, and patted Michael’s knee.

“Well... thanks for making sure that doesn’t happen, I guess.”

“That’s what partners are for,” Michael squeezed his shoulder, “You want some more water?”

The idea of ingesting anything was a miserable one, but it was better than dry heaving. Dan nodded and forced himself to sit up and Michael handed him the glass.

Dan took slow, careful sips, and managed to get down about a quarter of the glass. He set it aside carefully and sighed, laying back down with a hand over his eyes.

“Feeling any better at all?” Michael asked, and Dan sighed again.

“Tiny bit,” Dan mumbled, “Not much, though.”

“I’ll call Sarge and let him know we won’t be coming in,” Michael said decidedly, “I don’t think he’ll mind you not germing up the place.”

Dan gave a small laugh, “Thanks, Michael.”

Michael just patted his thigh in answer before getting up so he could return to the empty side of the bed.

Michael spent another whole night looking after him, and then Dan was well enough to go back to work.

And that was that.

Neither of them mentioned it, and life carried on as usual.

Dan had almost forgot that the whole reason Michael had been around to take care of him was that he had been sleeping on Dan’s bedroom floor, until he woke up many months later from a weird dream to find Michael once again on his floor.

He was far enough away not to be stepped on this time, but Dan saw him there nonetheless, and crouched to give his shoulder a light shake.

“Michael,” he said softly, and Michael took a sharp intake of breath as he jerked awake.

Michael froze when he realized he’d been caught, and Dan sighed, “What are you doing here?”

Silence for a second, then Michael sighed heavily.

“Are you going to kick me out?” he asked instead of answering, and Dan bit his lip. He _should_. It was more than a little weird for Michael to be inviting himself to sleep on Dan’s floor, and a year ago he definitely would have.

But Dan felt like he owed him one for the last time, when Michael had cared so well for him through his stomach virus.

“No,” Dan finally decided, “No, I won’t. Just... come up on the bed or something, you’ve got to be in pain from lying on the ground.”

Michael seemed a little flabbergasted, but Dan was too tired to break it down for him, so he just grabbed Michael’s arm and helped him to his feet.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Dan informed him, giving Michael a little nudge toward the bed, “Just lay down, alright?”

When he came back, Michael was on the bed and already half way to sleep, Dan could tell by his breathing. He shook his head as he got in next to him.

Michael was roused a little by the movement of the mattress, and Dan tugged the blanket up over himself.

“Why do you come here, Michael?”

Michael was quiet, and gave an exaggerated snore.

“Oh come on, man,” Dan elbowed him, “You’ve basically invited yourself to live here, I deserve to know why.”

Michael sighed, and fidgeted with the sheet.

“Michael,” Dan scoffed, “Come on. You love to talk, why are you clamming up now?”

Michael chortled, and Dan smirked.

“It's dumb.”

“That's you,” Dan snided and Michael smacked him with an open palm, “Just tell me.”

“It’s just... quieter, here.”

“What? No it's not. The train going by every half hour is in no way quieter.”

“Ha, no,” Michael chortled, “Not what I meant.”

“Then...?”

Michael fidgeted some more, and Dan was actually starting to feel mildly anxious.

“It's like... busy... in my head. And you just... make it quieter. Or something. I dunno, man, it's just you, alright?”

Dan wasn’t sure what to say to that. Michael was the king of aloof, I’ve-got-this-under-control attitude, even when he very much did _not_ and needed Dan to rescue him from some trouble or another. But he never _asked_ for help, never admitted that he needed Dan, or anyone, really.

“Are you going to be weird about it?” Michael sighed, and Dan gave a little snort.

“No,” he said simply, then after a long pause, “Busy like... hearing voices busy or...?”

“No, dipshit, I'm not _crazy_ ,” Michael sounded insulted, and Dan was tempted to content with him on that statement, “It’s just like... too many thoughts. I can't turn it off on my own, and being around you helps for some reason. It's the only way I can sleep some days.”

It was probably dumb, but Dan felt deeply flattered by that. And the more he thought about it the more it seemed to click; Michael practically vibrated with energy and raced from one train of thought to another, but usually by midday he was calmer, more rational, more attentive. Dan usually thought it was just Michael getting tired from having to actually do some work and exert his brain a little bit, but the idea that it might just be _Dan’s_ effect on him?

That was mind-boggling.

“Anyway... that's it,” Michael tacked on lamely, “So.”

Dan reached across in the dark and squeezed his arm, “That's... I'm just glad I can help, Michael. Really. And if...”

Dan bit his lip, thinking, and decided to commit to the rest of his sentence, “If you want to come here in the future you can just text me a heads up. You don't have to sneak around and you definitely don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

Michael put his hand over Dan’s on his arm, squeezing excitedly, “Really? You mean that?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, “Yeah, man, I do.”

“You’re actually the best person alive, you know that?” Michael said eagerly, and Dan chortled.

“Wait, let me record that, say it again so I can play it back whenever you call me lame in the future,” Dan replied, reaching for his phone, and Michael shoved at him with his loud, dumb laugh. Dan was very fond of that laugh.

“You’re still a giant nerd, you’re just a fucking _great_ giant nerd,” Michael clarified, and Dan chuckled.

“Oh, well, glad we got that cleared up.”

“Yep,” Michael popped the “p” sound at the end, and Dan suddenly found himself being fiercely hugged by his partner, “Thanks, Dan.”

“Sure thing, buddy,” Dan mumbled, awkwardly patting his back, and Michael let go after a moment to lay back down.

“Well. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Michael.”


	6. FtM Dan/cisM Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mildly nervous about this one, as I've never written a trans character before. I'm hoping I did okay!
> 
> I guess in this universe the Kelly Wheeler incident never happens, or this won't make a ton of sense.

He’s not sure why Dan thinks he doesn’t _know_. He’s always known, from the first moment he stepped into the Chief’s office.

It’s just never _mattered_. If Michael was going to list all the things he knew about Dan it would be the very last thing on that list. Dan was just Dan; fretting, anxious, funny, loyal, wonderful, thoughtful, smart, caring Dan. No asterisk required.

But Dan was panicking over it, and it was seriously harshing Michael’s adventure buzz. They had stopped in a motel halfway to the east coast, and Michael was itching to see all the strange ways of the native east coasters in their natural environment; he didn’t want to be worrying about Dan’s internal meltdown over something silly.

He decided it was best just to _show_ Dan that he didn’t care. No, he’d do better than that, actually. He’d prove to him that he was _sexy_ ; that Michael was hot for him always, constantly, had used _so much self control_ in the last three years to not push Dan before he was ready to accept the fact that they were _perfect_ for each other and-

“Michael, wait,” Dan panted, pushing at Michael’s shoulders and trying to get him to stop kissing Dan’s neck, “Michael!”

Michael sighed and pulled back, holding Dan’s precious, worried face between his hands and kissing the crease between Dan’s eyebrows, “ _Daniel_ , what?”

“I... there’s...” Dan stammered, and okay, Michael was mildly worried now because Dan was vaguely green and that was certainly not the color Michael was hoping for. He was hoping for that cute little pink blush that Dan so often sported when he was flustered or flirting or turned on, “Fuck, _fuck!_ there’s something I have to tell you. Fuck. I’m sorry. I should have told you before, I should have told you before you even _considered_ coming with me-”

Dan was babbling and Michael kissed him to stem the flow, and it worked for approximately three seconds.

“ _Michael_ ,” Dan squeaked, pushing Michael’s shoulders, “I’m _serious_ , I need to tell you something, okay?”

Michael sighed and pulled back enough to look him in the eye exasperatedly, “Is this about your lady parts?”

It was a little alarming to see Dan change from vaguely green to ghost white so fast, and if Michael hadn’t already been holding onto him Dan certainly would have ended up on the floor. As it was, Michael had to grab him around the shoulders and guide them both to sit down on the end of the bed before Dan fell down.

“You...” Dan rasped, looking at him with nothing short of terror, “You... you _knew_?”

“Of course I knew, I’ve always known,” Michael frowned, “I never _didn’t_ know.”

“ _How?!_ ”

“Oh relax,” Michael waved his hand dismissively, “It’s not _obvious_ or anything. I just... I dunno, Dan, I just did. The universe tells me things.”

Dan still looked uncomfortably pale, and Michael cupped his face again and pressed a kiss to his mouth, “I doesn’t _matter_ , Dan. I don’t care what equipment you’re packing, as long as I get to play with it.”

There it was, _finally!_ That cute little blush Michael loved so much.

“I want to know everything you like,” Michael murmured, pressing in for another kiss, and this time Dan actually responded to it, kissing him back hesitantly, but with affection, “I want to know how to make you feel good. It's all I think about.”

 _Emotions_. There were a lot of emotions in Dan’s face then, and Michael smiled at him, stroking his cheekbones, “Anything you want, Daniel.”

“Thank you,” Dan whispered instead, and Michael just couldn’t stop kissing him. His beautiful, awkward nerd. Michael didn’t know what morons Dan had been disappointed by in the past, but Michael sure as fuck was going to erase every last one of them from Dan’s mind.

“Show me?” Michael encouraged, and Dan shivered.

He tugged on Dan’s tie, and Dan fumbled for the knot up near his collar.

Michael’s mind was racing with ideas. He had no idea what Dan was going to let him do, or what he’d be able to work up to, or what Dan’s favorite things were, but he wanted to experience it _all_.

When the tie was tossed away Michael’s fingers raced down the buttons of Dan’s shirt, and Dan’s face was flushed and starting to get sweaty and he was looking at the floor instead of at Michael.

Michael wasn’t crazy about that last part. Dan was _afraid_ , and he didn’t need to be. Michael was going to take care of him and make him feel good, and then maybe later they’d go out for ice cream. It was going to be a good night.

Michael tugged the hem of Dan’s shirt out of his pants and finished undoing the buttons, then peeled it down his arms and tossed it to the floor.

“Get on the bed,” he encouraged gently, and Dan took a deep breath.

“Hey,” Michael nudged him, and Dan finally stopped staring at the floor and raised his eyes to Michael’s, “Why are you scared?”

“Because... because I’ve never done this before. Sex with a guy, I mean. And because I don’t...” Dan made a vague gesture from his chest to his lap, and Michael shook his head.

“How long is it going to take to convince you that I want to bone you?” Michael asked, then gestured to Dan, following the same path from his chest to his lap, “I want exactly what you are, Dan. Because it’s you. It’s not complicated.”

Dan was blushing and also looked a bit misty eyed, and Michael nudged him again, this time toward the middle of the bed, “Just let me show you.”

Dan took a deep breath again and let it out in a puff before kicking his shoes off and crawling up the bed to lay down, and Michael felt like his insides were full of fire ants. Burning and crawly at the same time, and he hurried to ditch his own shoes and his jacket.

He crawled up the bed until he was straddling Dan’s thighs, and pushed the hem of Dan’s undershirt up, leaning over him to press opened-mouthed kisses along Dan’s belly. Dan twitched and Michael was _really tempted_ to tickle him, but Dan seemed ready to flee the bed at any moment as it was. Too risky. Next time.

Michael drew the shirt higher and higher as he went, until it was wedged under Dan’s arms and he could rub his tongue over one of Dan’s nipples. Dan squirmed, and Michael raised his head so he could tug Dan’s undershirt up and off.

He got his own shirt off too while he was at it, and sighed contently as he pressed them chest to chest.

Then he just kissed Dan’s neck; rubbed his mouth along the tendons and coaxed Dan’s head back so he could explore unhindered, and Dan tentatively wrapped his arms around Michael’s back.

This was far and away from Michael’s usual style; his general philosophy tended to be that the faster they could get clothes off the better, but he knew he couldn’t do that with Dan yet. They’d get there, eventually, but right now he needed some seducing.

So Michael just did this; kissing his neck and bracing one forearm against the bed so he could run his hand down Dan’s chest and belly and flirt with the edge of his pants.

He did it until Dan was getting restless, until one of Dan’s hands came up to grip his hair and he was trembling and breathing unsteadily.

“I really want to go down on you,” Michael murmured against the hinge of his jaw, and Dan shuddered, “Can I?”

Dan seemed uncertain for a moment, but then, miraculously, he was nodding yes and Michael kissed him with a groan.

He pulled back and went for Dan’s belt, hurriedly slipping it out of the buckle and going for the button and zipper.

Dan’s hands lay placidly by his sides and his breathing was shallow, but Michael was going to fix that.

“Just don’t-” Dan blurted, when his pants and underwear were half way off, and Michael paused, “Just don’t... I don’t like...”

Michael tugged the pants the rest of the way off, along with Dan’s socks, before crawling on all fours back up to put them face to face.

“Tell me,” Michael said, “Don’t what?”

“I don’t like...” Dan started again, then took a breath and looked at the ceiling, “I don’t like penetration. So just... don’t do that.”

“Okay,” Michael kissed him, taking his time and making it warm and long, “How do you feel about butt stuff?”

Dan gave a startled laugh, though he was still breathing quick and was most certainly shaking, “Undecided. Never did it.”

“We’ll add it to the to-do list,” Michael nodded, and kissed him again before crawling down his body, pressing kisses along Dan’s chest and abdomen as he went, which he just loved because Dan trembled with each one in the most delightful way.

He gently parted Dan’s knees with his hands, and Dan shifted restlessly on the bed, but let him do it and that was _marvelous_.

He settled in with a happy sigh, his feet hanging over the end of the bed and his elbows planted in the mattress as he hooked his hands under the back of Dan’s thighs. He kissed along Dan’s hip, just breathing him in and reveling in the fact that he was _finally_ getting to do this after _ages_ of wanting his partner and feeling like he could never have him.

He nosed at the coarse hair on Dan’s pelvis, where his scent was strongest, and _goddamn_ he’d get high every day on Dan’s smell if he could. This was better than heroin. This was better than anything.

Dan’s clit was big and flushed red and Michael wanted to suck on it, so he did. Gentle, at first, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t hurting him, but when Dan gasped and moaned and his hands flew into Michael’s hair, but not to push him away, he took it as his sign to keep going.

So he did; he swirled his tongue and moaned, almost dizzy with the thrill of giving Dan pleasure like this. And _Dan_ ; Dan was just making the most gorgeous sounds Michael had ever heard. He was moaning and whimpering and panting and it was _so hot_.

Michael slid one hand under himself with a desperate sound, shoving the waistband of his track pants out of the way to wrap his hand around his throbbing dick. He wondered if Dan would let him come on his face.

Michael sucked, and swirled his tongue around that hot little bud again and Dan arched; his hand tight in Michael’s hair and his legs shaking and it was the most victorious Michael had ever felt. Dan was close, he could feel it like a tingle in the back of his brain, and he worked his tongue more rapidly, swiping and flicking until he found the spot that made Dan cry out.

 _There it is,_ he thought smugly, keeping his tongue there and flicking it as fast as he could until Dan went tense, arching on the bed and shaking with a soft cry that Michael was going to replay in his head _for-fucking-ever_.

He didn’t even give him time to breathe, just relented on the rapid flicks and went back to a more leisurely swirl and suck and Dan twitched with little cries at every one, but didn’t push him away.

Michael worked up slowly again, mixing barely-there brushes of his tongue with tight sucks and rapid flicks and Dan was shaking so hard he could feel it vibrating through the bed.

Michael slowly zoned in on that spot again, panting himself now and _aching_ ; he was so hard it felt like all the blood in his entire body was in his dick, and every stroke of his hand was almost torture.

 _Come on, baby,_ he thought dizzily, pushing his tongue hard against that sweet spot and rubbing until his tongue ached and Dan was crying out again, twisting against the bed and shaking and panting like he was Michael’s personal porno.

He shoved Michael away with his hands and his legs, sharp and sudden and with a pained sound, and Michael got up on his knees between Dan’s legs as he wiped his mouth.

Dan was flushed and sweating and shaking like a leaf and it was _gorgeous_.

“Dan,” Michael rasped desperately, stroking his hot, heavy dick with a tight grip and a moan, and Dan’s eyes cracked open to look at him.

His eyes were glazed with pleasure and Michael was so fucking proud of putting that look there.

And _Dan_ ; Dan was wonderful. He reached for Michael and tugged on his arm, whispering, “C’mere.”

Michael went, laying flush over him and panting, and Dan wrapped his arms around Michael’s back, rubbing his hands up and down warmly, and Michael couldn’t stop from kissing him.

His dick was rubbing between Dan’s legs and he _ached_ ; desperate to get off, and he whined.

“Dan... Dan, I need to...” Michael murmured against his mouth, and Dan nodded rapidly, still panting too and it was so hot and heated and close.

“Here,” Dan murmured, and helped rearrange them, and _fuck_ Dan was so clever. He closed his thighs, putting Michael’s legs outside of them but keeping his cock between Dan’s legs tightly. Between Michael’s cock leaking precome and Dan’s damp, sweaty skin Michael had enough slick to thrust; groaning at the pressure of Dan’s thighs flexing around his flushed and desperate dick.

Michael kissed him until he came, whimpering and groaning against Dan’s neck as he made a mess of Dan’s thighs and the comforter.

“Oh my god,” Michael groaned dazedly, “You’re so fucking hot, Dan. _God_.”

He managed to raise his head and Dan was red-faced and sweaty, but he wasn’t avoiding Michael’s gaze and he didn’t seem upset.

He looked... _blissed_. It was the most ecstasy he had ever seen on Dan’s face and he wanted to see him like that _all the time_.

“I fucking love you,” Michael murmured, cupping Dan’s face with one hand. He said it because it was true, and because Dan deserved to hear it all the time.

And Dan _laughed_ , closed his eyes and combed his fingers through Michael’s hair gently, “Tell me that when I don’t have your spunk all over me and maybe I’ll believe you.”

Michael sighed and put his head down on Dan’s shoulder, “I love you _always_ Daniel. Every moment of every day.”

Dan just kept petting his hair, and Michael was thinking of falling asleep. He wanted to. He wanted to sleep right on Dan, exactly as they were, because it was cozy and warm and he liked being able to feel Dan’s breathing and heartbeat against his chest.

“You’re kind of squishing me, buddy,” Dan said, ruining the moment, and Michael stubbornly stayed where he was, “Michael. _Michael!_ ”

“Not until you accept my ‘I love you’.”

Dan sighed, and tightened his fist in Michael’s hair to give it a little, affectionate tug.

“I know you do. And I love you too.”

“Neeeeerrrrrd,” Michael sing-songed, and Dan chuckled and tugged his hair again, and Michael finally rolled to the side.

“Michael, I need to clean up,” Dan complained when Michael grabbed him and pulled him close, rubbing his mouth against the short hair on the top of Dan’s head.

“Cuddle first,” Michael murmured with a pout, and Dan sighed.

“Are you always going to be this demanding?”

“Yes.”

Another sigh, and Dan stroked a hand up and down his side until Michael fell asleep.

Michael pretended not to wake up when he finally felt Dan pull away, only allowing himself to relax again when Dan squeezed himself behind Michael on the bed to avoid the mess they had made.

It was nice, being the little spoon.

That was the last thought he had as he drifted off again.


	7. Hypothermia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also non-explicit. Just cute and cuddly.

What Dan had _planned_ for the weekend was binge watching as much of his TiVo as he could fit in. What _actually_ happened was Sarge showing up with an almost comatose Michael on Saturday morning and making Dan responsible for him.

“What the hell?” Dan blurted as soon as he answered the knock on his door, finding Sarge in his doorway with Michael draped over his shoulder, fireman style.

“The moron broke into a Coldstone Creamery and got locked in a freezer,” Sarge informed him, pushing his way into Dan’s apartment. Dan staggered back, narrowly avoiding getting clocked with Michael’s legs.

“Well- what- wait!” Dan stammered, hurriedly closing the door and following Sarge as he unhesitatingly made his way toward Dan’s bedroom.

“Sarge! What- why aren’t you taking him to a hospital? You need to take him to a hospital!”

“Negative, O’Brien. Just some moderate hypothermia, no need to risk a hospital. Just get him warmed up.”

Sarge dumped Michael on his bed, and Dan sputtered and tried to block Sarge’s exit from his bedroom as unobtrusively as he could manage.

“No, Sarge, I really gotta insist-”

“You don’t get to insist anything, O’Brien,” Sarge pushed past him, and Dan stumbled back, “He’s your charge, sort him out.”

“But sir-”

“Fix it, O’Brien!” Sarge barked over his shoulder as he opened the door, “Text me if it looks like any of his extremities are going to fall off.”

The door slammed before Dan could get another word in edgewise, and he knew it would be futile anyway.

Goddamnit.

Dan hurried back to his room, his brain switching into Michael Triage Mode.

Most of what he knew about hypothermia came from movies, and he hoped really hard that they had most of it right.

He turned on his bedside lamp to get a better look at Michael, and was fairly alarmed to find that the tips of his fingers and nose were faintly blue. He also seemed to be completely unconscious, which was even more alarming.

Dan was shaking, and dashed for his closet to pull out the box of winter clothes he had stashed in there. He hadn’t had much use for them since coming to California, but he had kept them anyway, for his trips home if nothing else. Apparently it had been a wise move.

He pulled out the heaviest sweater he had, along with thick fleece sleep pants and wool socks. The pants would be too short on Michael, but the socks should come up enough to make up the difference.

Michael was wearing a windbreaker and track pants, both with ice cream stains all over them, and what appeared to be a spoon poking out of his pocket. Dan shook his head in aggravation, noticing similar stains on Michael’s cheek and mouth, and worked to manipulate Michael’s heavy body out of his stained and chilly clothes and into Dan’s winter attire.

He managed to do it without them both ending up on the floor somehow, and tucked Michael under the blankets before hurrying to the bathroom.

He got the hot water bottle from the bathroom closet, then grabbed a washcloth and wet it.

He put the hot water bottle on Michael’s belly and used the washcloth to wipe away the remaining ice cream stains on Michael’s face and hands.

Michael felt like ice, his fingertips and nose still faintly blue, and Dan was getting progressively more worried. He shifted his weight anxiously from side to side beside the bed, knowing what he needed to do and trying to find away around it.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he finally rasped, tossing his glasses on the bedside table before getting into the opposite side of the bed and scooting over to spoon up against Michael’s side.

He hooked his leg over Michael’s and started rubbing his hands up and down Michael’s arms and chest, pausing only to pull the blankets up over their heads and cocoon the warmth in.

“Come on, Mike,” he murmured, taking one of Michael’s hands in his and trying to rub the chill away, “Come on, man, wake up.”

The minutes ticked by and Dan rubbed Michael’s arms and chest and hands, willing his own body heat to permeate into Michael. The longer Michael was out of it the more worried he was getting, and the idea of calling for an ambulance anyway, Sarge’s orders be damned, became increasingly persistent.

He was on the verge of doing just that when Michael finally stirred with a little moan, and Dan breathed a shaky sigh of relief against his shoulder.

“Michael?” he asked quietly, “Michael, can you hear me?”

Michael gave a little moan again, and Dan tugged the blankets down so he could see Michael’s face better.

Michael’s nose was no longer blue, thankfully, and his eyes fluttered open blearily.

Dan said his name again, and Michael tried to focus on him with a frown.

“Dan,” Michael mouthed the word but no sound came out, and Dan squeezed his shoulder gently.

“Yeah, Michael, it’s me. You’re gonna be okay, we just have to warm you up, alright?”

Michael blinked slowly, and Dan wasn’t sure if what he had said had actually sank in, but Michael’s eyes slipped back closed as Dan started rubbing his chest and arms again.

A few minutes more, and Michael started to shake, his teeth chattering. He pawed clumsily at Dan, squirming weakly, and Dan realized that Michael was trying to turn toward him.

Begrudgingly, Dan helped him turn onto his side toward him, and Michael immediately shoved his hands under the hem of Dan’s shirt, pressing his icicle fingers against his abdomen. Dan gasped, squirming and cursing, and Michael gave a pathetic whine.

“You’re such a _dick_ ,” Dan growled, and Michael whined again before shoving his face into the crook of Dan’s neck, his cold nose sending shivers down Dan’s spine.

Dan grit his teeth and shoved one arm under Michael's neck to loop around his shoulders, his other hand rubbing rigorously along Michael's back and sides.

As Michael’s body regained warmth, he also regained his coordination, and he pressed himself closer to Dan with a pathetic little moan, one of his hands sliding around to Dan’s back. He clenched his hand into a fist, pressing the backs of his fingers against the fleshy part right next to Dan’s spine.

Dan shivered again, and Michael mumbled something Dan didn’t catch.

“What?” Dan asked, pulling back a little to try to hear him better.

“M-m-my s-s-skin-n hurts-s,” Michael stammered through his chattering jaw, and Dan frowned with worry. Was that a symptom of frostbite? He really wished Sarge had taken him to the hospital.

“Let’s see if warming you up fixes that,” Dan assured him, though he was still worried.

The hot water bottle was wedged between them somewhere, and Dan pulled back enough to fish it out, shifting it to Michael's back and holding it in place.

Michael gave another little groan, squirming closer and pushing his leg in between Dan’s.

Under normal circumstances, Dan would have given a big HELL NO and made Michael keep his legs to himself. But he could feel how cold Michael's leg was, even through the fleece, and Sarge’s comment as he was leaving about Michael's extremities falling off came to mind.

“Jesus,” he ended up cursing instead, rubbing his leg against Michael's to get his circulation going better, and Michael’s arm tightened around him for a moment.

Slowly, Michael started to feel like a living being again instead of an ice sculpture, and his shivering started to wane.

Gradually, as Michael warmed up, Dan found himself dozing off. He didn’t _mean_ to, but the bed was warm and comfortable, and Michael’s breathing evened out to a slow, steady rhythm that lulled him to sleep before he’d realized it.

He didn't wake up again until he felt a hand creeping down his back and toward his ass, and he jolted back into awareness.

“Michael,” he said warningly, and Michael ignored him until Dan shoved him roughly.

“Ow!” Michael protested, but his hand stopped at the small of Dan’s back, “That wasn’t nice.”

“Neither is you groping me while I sleep. Clearly you’re feeling better.”

Dan’s arm under Michael's neck was numb, and Dan pulled away, sliding his arm out and flexing it with a wince.

Michael pouted with a disappointed sound, and Dan pulled the covers off himself with a heavy exhale. He hadn't realized how overheated he was, sweat dampening the back of his neck and chest, and his face felt flushed. When Michael had been cold, it had balanced it all out, but now that he was back to normal temperature the covers and Michael's heavy clothes were stifling.

“I was not _groping_ , Daniel, I was _appreciating_. It's the least I could do for my human heater.”

Dan chortled, getting out of the bed and rubbing his hands over his face.

“Appreciating, right. Were you actually trying to steal my wallet? Do you think I just keep it in my pocket in my own apartment?”

“Of course not,” Michael put on an innocent look, pushing the covers down to his waist and sitting up as Dan came around to the other side of the bed and picked up his glasses from the nightstand, “I would never do such a thing, I'm offended.”

Dan gave him a look and Michael smiled charmingly at him.

“You don't feel numb anywhere, do you?” Dan decided to ask instead, and Michael patted himself down thoughtfully.

“Don't think so.”

“Good, then you’re probably fine. Your clothes are on the chair, feel free to put them back on and go home.”

Michael’s frowned and Dan left the room, heading for the kitchen. He was _starving_ , and he realized why when he looked at the clock; it was late afternoon, and he hadn't had a chance to have breakfast.

He decided to just start making an early dinner, and he got ground beef out of the freezer and threw it in the microwave to defrost it.

He filled a pot with water for pasta, and started the heat up under an empty saucepan. Michael appeared in the kitchen doorway. He was still in Dan’s clothes, and he tugged on the sleeves, almost looking nervous.

Dan raised his eyebrow at him, then the microwave beeped, and he went to get it.

“What’re you making?” Michael asked, and Dan started breaking pieces of the ground beef off into the heated saucepan. It sizzled satisfyingly.

“Beefaroni,” Dan answered, starting the burner up under the pasta water. Michael's face perked in interest.

“All... all just for you?” Michael asked, doing a terrible job of being casual.

“That's the plan, yeah,” Dan replied, refusing to rise to the bait, and Michael pouted.

“You know... I almost _died_ today. I was this close-” Michael held his fingers up with an inch between them, “-to being a Mikey popsicle.”

“Good thing Sarge dumped you here to warm up, which you are now. So I can see you Monday at work.”

Michael frowned, and Dan stirred the ground beef.

A couple minutes went by, and Michael was still standing in the doorway. Dan sighed.

“You know, Michael, a ‘thank you’ for warming you up earlier wouldn't go amiss toward getting you a dinner invitation.”

Dan gasped as Michael suddenly thunked into him, giving him a crushing hug, “Thank you, Dan. You’re really cuddly, did you know that? You don't have to work on those love handles, buddy, you’re just perfect. As a matter of fact-”

“Alright!” Dan interrupted him, wedging a hand between them and pushing Michael back, “Alright, I get it. Thank you, Michael.”

Michael beamed at him and Dan couldn't help but give a little smile too. He patted Michael's chest.

“Just... stay out of the way, okay? Sit at the table, please.”

Michael clapped him on the shoulder, and hurried to sit at the table.

It was nice, actually, having someone to share his meal with. He wouldn't tell Michael that, for fear that Michael would use it as an excuse to get free food from him all the time, but Dan enjoyed it more than he thought he would.

He never got around to binging his TiVo shows, but he was surprisingly okay with it. Still not a terrible Saturday.


	8. Sex Pollen, Version 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild dub-con I guess?

Michael was never buying drugs from anyone who wasn’t Raoul ever again.

The bitch of it was that it had started off really well; he’d felt warm and tingly and relaxed, and had taken no issue with the boner he had gotten as a result.

He had laid loose-limbed and naked in the middle of his mattress, watching the blades of the ceiling fan turn overhead as he held out as long as he could stand before sliding a hand down to palm his dick. The waiting just made the first touch of his hand all that much more intense, and he moaned and smiled stupidly at how nice it felt.

He probably could have went to get someone to do it for him, but sometimes it was nice to just ride solo and get exactly what you wanted without having to worry about anyone else.

It was nice, at first. _Really_ nice, in fact, and Michael let his eyes slipped closed at the way every slow stroke sent bursts of pleasure down his dick and straight up his spine.

“Fuck, this is good shit,” Michael breathed into the empty room, which had seemed true at the time.

He had a gorgeous, leisurely wank; bringing himself to the edge and then backing off, then creeping toward the edge and backing off again; as many times as he could stand before he couldn’t stop anymore and jerked himself off, rough and desperate.

He came all over his stomach messily, groaning at the ceiling and working the head to pull every last bit of pleasure out of it.

“Good shit,” he panted again, shaking and tingly all over, and he wiped himself off carelessly with his sheet.

In his head, he planned on going to sleep. It was usually what he did after a good dose of drugs and an orgasm, and it sounded like a lovely idea. He even closed his eyes and started to doze, but pulled back awake with a frown a few moments later.

He was getting hard again, and even with his historically great stamina, he was mildly confused.

But he rolled with it, reaching down and rubbing his thumb in a slow circle over the head, his toes curling at the sensitivity. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut, his hips pushing up of their own accord, and he moaned breathily.

He started stroking his hand down to the base and then up again slowly, a little achy from bouncing right back into hardness so swiftly, but that was okay; a little pain with the pleasure could be good sometimes.

Instead of the stopping and starting he had done earlier, he just went for a steady build straight to the edge. He made an uneven, breathy sound when he reached orgasm number two, his balls aching a little and pulsing out a few weak pumps of jizz.

He was a little lightheaded when his body finally let him go boneless, and he groaned as he wiped his hand on the already dirty sheets.

“Wow,” he sighed, and actually managed to drift off for a little while before he was pulled back to wakefulness by the uncomfortable throbbing of his furiously hard dick.

“Fuck.”

He felt like he was burning up, sweat dripping down his sides and dampening his face, and he couldn’t stop from gripping his dick even if he tried.

It ached more intensely than before, and Michael came quickly, but dry, twisting with a whimper at the way his balls drew up and pulsed hard, trying to expel a load that wasn’t there.

“Fuuuuuuck,” Michael drew out the word on a painful moan, trembling and panting, and worry was starting to creep in. He just wanted to come down and get some sleep, what the fuck had he taken?

He lost time after that, dazedly riding the waves of arousal and release over and over and shaking at the intense ache shooting through his entire pelvis.

The loud buzz of his cell phone right next to his ear finally pierced through his hazy state, and he fumbled for it with his free hand desperately.

“Michael, where the hell are you?” Dan’s voice came over the tiny speaker, and Michael almost cried. Dan would know what to do.

“Dan,” he croaked, then swallowed thickly and tried to wet his tacky, dry lips, “Dan... help...”

“Michael?” Dan’s voice sounded worried, and Michael found a little comfort in that, at least, “Michael, where are you?”

“Home,” Michael slurred, and Dan breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ll be right there,” Dan said, “Just... stay where you are Michael, okay? I’m coming over there.”

Michael could only groan in answer, and the line disconnected with a soft little blip.

Dan would know what to do, he told himself, as tears leaked from the corners of his eyes at the overwhelmed buzz of all his senses.

He heard his front door open, two orgasms from when he and Dan had spoken on the phone, and he didn’t remember if he had left it unlocked or if Dan had somehow forced his way in. He’d be impressed if it was the second one.

“Michael?” he heard Dan call, and he opened his mouth to call back but instead a broken moan came out at the sharp wave of arousal that arched his spine.

He whimpered when it receded enough for him to catch his breath, and he heard the doorknob on his bedroom rattle as it twisted and Dan let himself in.

“Oh for- Jesus Christ, Michael.”

Dan was backing out of the room, embarrassed and annoyed, and Michael groaned painfully.

“Don’t-!” he croaked, reaching out, “Dan! Please!”

The door paused in its closing, and Michael must have sounded pathetic enough for Dan to reconsider his hasty retreat.

“Michael, if this is some kind of joke-”

Michael moaned in pain and frustration and shook his head frantically, “Not. Fuck, I just want to come _down_.”

The door opened again, and he watched hazily as Dan made his way cautiously into the room and toward the bed.

“Michael, what did you take?” Dan asked, worry painted like a neon sign all over his face, and for once Michael was grateful for that; if Dan was worried about him he wouldn’t leave.

“I don’t know,” Michael moaned, “Forget, or... they didn’t say. I just can’t... it _hurts_ , and it won’t stop.”

He couldn’t stop from gripping his dick, hissing at the touch even as it also brought its own kind of bare relief.

“Fucking hell,” Dan muttered, and Michael could see through his half-closed eyes that Dan was getting progressively redder, but instead of moving away, he stepped closer to the bed and put a hand on Michael’s forehead.

It felt wonderful; Dan’s palm blissfully cool against Michael’s hot, sweaty skin, and he leaned into it with a moan.

“Jesus, you’re burning up,” Dan muttered with alarm, “Michael, we should probably go to the hospital.”

Michael shook his head, and Dan started to pull away, which just would not do. Michael moaned again and reached up to grab his hand, putting it back on his forehead.

“No, no hospitals,” he murmured, “Just... keep, keep doing that. You feel good, just help me cool down.”

“Alright, okay,” Dan muttered placatingly, rubbing his thumb against Michael’s temple in a soothing little circle. It felt lovely, and Michael leaned up into it.

“Oh god, Dan, I gotta...” Michael panted, needing to come again, even though it was going to hurt, and he braced himself to push through it as best as he could.

“Jesus,” Dan squeaked, his eyes as wide as saucers and inevitably drawn down to Michael’s red, raw dick as Michael stripped it with his fist until he came dry yet again with a painful cry.

“Please, Dan,” Michael moaned when he could catch his breath, not entirely sure what he was asking for, but trusting Dan to know what needed to be done.

Dan pulled away, and Michael whimpered and reached for him, desperate and afraid, but Dan shushed him.

“I’ll be right back, Michael, I promise,” Dan said gently, “I promise.”

Michael did his best to remain calm, his best to trust that his partner meant it, that he wasn’t leaving Michael to run fast in the other direction.

Dan returned after a few minutes, his sleeves rolled up and his tie gone, and carrying a wet hand towel.

“Alright,” Dan murmured, though it seemed to be more for his own benefit than for Michael’s, and he carefully draped the towel over Michael’s torso.

Michael groaned at the shock of cold, wet fabric, and Dan sat on the edge of the bed and shushed him, putting his hand on Michael’s forehead again comfortingly.

“You need to cool down, Michael,” Dan said gently, “it’s going to be okay.”

Michael groaned and leaned into his hand, which felt so much better than the wet towel did, but he trusted Dan; Dan knew what he was doing. He was good for grown up stuff like this.

“You’ve really got to stop taking any drug you can get your hands on,” Dan murmured, and his thumb was back to stroking Michael’s temple, “I mean it, Michael, one of these days something’s going to kill you.”

Arousal was starting to push through him again, and he clenched his teeth and fought it as hard as he could to keep focused on Dan.

“Worry too much,” he forced out, “Bad trips happen, no biggie.”

“ _Yes_ biggie, Michael,” Dan seemed exasperated, “Do you have any idea what-”

He cut himself off abruptly, and Michael pushed into his hand to try to encourage him to talk.

“What?” he managed to ask when Dan remained silent, and Dan brushed his hand over Michael’s sweaty hair.

“I’d be sad if you died, you know,” Dan finally settled on saying, and even that seemed like a struggle for him to fumble through, “So just... be more careful. Please.”

Michael had never heard something so nice; all the squiggly, warm things he felt about Dan all the time flooded through his chest, and he reached up to grab Dan’s hand tightly, bringing it from where it was stroking Michael’s hair to his lips instead.

He kissed the back of Dan’s hand, and Dan blushed in the most delightful way.

Then a hard pulse of need stole his breath, and he scrunched his eyes shut and fumbled with his free hand to jerk his dick.

“Fuuuuuuuck,” Michael groaned painfully, and he heard Dan gasp.

“How long have you been like this?” Dan asked him, and Michael shook his head, still holding Dan’s hand tight.

“Last night,” he forced out, then bit his lower lip hard as relentless, merciless want pushed through him.

“Jesus,” Dan breathed, and Michael agreed with the sentiment.

“Have you tried, uh...” Dan was red and awkward, “You know... ignoring it?”

Michael chortled, “All that does is hurt.”

Dan nodded, biting his lip, and Michael licked his own as he watched Dan’s mouth. This would be so much better if Dan was touching him. Be so much easier to ride out if it was Dan’s hand getting him off instead of his own, or, fuck, even better, that _mouth_. He squeezed his dick with a moan, and Dan’s eyes flicked downward for a second.

Michael usually followed his impulses, and this was no exception. He groaned as he brought Dan’s had down to his dick and wrapped his fingers around it.

“Michael!” Dan hissed in alarm, trying to pull his hand away, but Michael lurched up and hooked his other hand around Dan’s neck, pulling him down.

Dan’s chest against his and Dan’s face mere centimeters away left Michael breathless, and he gripped the back of Dan’s head with a groan.

“Please,” he begged, raising his head and stopping just shy of Dan’s mouth, “Dan, _Daniel_. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you right now, _please._ ”

“You’re drugged,” Dan said, but he wasn’t pulling away. He seemed frozen, eyes wide and so very pretty from this close distance, “You’re delirious.”

“Wasn’t drugged when we fucked Kelly Wheeler,” Michael groaned with frustration, “and you certainly weren’t drugged when you let me finger your ass when we did it.”

Dan jerked back and away, and Michael groaned again, in both frustration and pain as lust banged demandingly on his nervous system.

“I didn’t realize that was you,” he lied insistently, and Michael shook his head and scrunched his eyes closed.

“Jesus, Dan, one of these days you’re gonna get real tired of lying to yourself,” Michael panted, squeezing the tip of his dick and giving tiny, jerky strokes that made him writhe and whimper even as another climax flirted with his nervous system.

Dan didn’t answer him, but Michael could hear Dan’s breathing get a little quicker as he squirmed and shook and jerked himself off.

Coming was completely against his will, but it happened anyway, bowing his back and strangling the sound in his throat.

“Jesus Christ,” Dan whispered, and when Michael could open his eyes again it felt like getting suckerpunched in the gut to see the way Dan was sweating and flushed and definitely, _definitely_ turned on.

“Want you to fuck me,” Michael groaned, and Dan’s eyes snapped back to Michael's face as he went an even deeper scarlet.

“ _Michael,_ ” he squeaked, “No- I- I don't even-”

Michael slid his hand into Dan’s lap and palm the front if his pants.

Dan gasped so sharply it sounded like it hurt, his hand leaving Michael's dick to grab his wrist tightly, but Michael was grinning triumphantly as he palmed the hard outline he found waiting for him.

“Seems to me like you do,” Michael purred, and Dan stammered for a second before finding his voice.

“It’s not- this isn’t-” he babbled, then made a sharp little sound at the way Michael rubbed his thumb against the head of his dick through his pants. He groaned as he finally forced himself to pull Michael's hand away from him, “You’re _drugged_ , you don’t even know what you’re saying.”

“You’re a fucking idiot if you think that’s true,” Michael grunted, anger creeping in next to arousal. Dan could pretend all he wanted that he didn’t want to fuck Michael’s amazing ass, but he was fucking nuts if he thought he was going to get away with accusing Michael of making up his own desire.

The wet towel Dan had draped on him was no longer cool, heated up to Michael’s own hot temperature, turning it into just a heavy, wet weight on his chest that he pushed off and shoved irritatedly to the floor.

He grabbed at Dan again, one last ditch effort to get him to give in, and Dan gasped as Michael yanked him down and shoved their mouths together.

Dan tasted incredible, and Michael whimpered as he licked desperately behind Dan’s teeth. And _Dan_ ; Dan fucking _whimpered_ , and Michael was going to combust from the sound of it alone.

“Michael!” Dan gasped, pulling back and shaking, and Michael groaned as he collapsed back on the bed; the overwhelming effects of this drug still in his system making him squirm and pant as he grabbed his flushed, raw dick _again_.

“Oh god, Dan, either fuck me or get out,” Michael whimpered. He couldn’t have Dan hovering if the wasn’t going to actually _do_ anything.

“Oh god, I’m going to hell,” Dan suddenly moaned, sharp and whining and Michael opened his eyes to see Dan standing up and unbuttoning his shirt, looking as wrecked as Michael had ever seen him.

Michael moaned at the sight, and Dan looked at him desperately, panting and flushed.

“I shouldn’t be doing this, you’re drugged,” Dan objected again weakly, but he was still stripping his dress shirt down his arms and to the floor, then pulling his undershirt over his head, knocking his glasses askew.

“Want you even when I’m not drugged, idiot,” Michael groaned, “Dammit, Dan, stop talking.”

“Says the guy who never shuts up.”

Dan banting with him was good, it meant he wasn’t having a meltdown, but it was also not what he wanted his partner to be doing right now.

“Hurry up,” Michael said instead of a snappy comeback, because his body was becoming more demanding of his brainpower than his ability to be clever.

Dan stripped down to his underwear, but kept that on as he got onto the bed, kneeing his way across the mattress until he was kneeling beside Michael’s hip, looking turned on but terrified, and Michael shook his head with a chuff.

“What... what should I do?” Dan asked unsteadily, and Michael groaned and reached up to grip his wrists.

“Just... get down here,” Michael panted, yanking him down and Dan fell awkwardly forward with a gasp. Michael moaned when it put them chest to chest, and he wrapped an arm around Dan’s waist tightly.

He tried again for a kiss, and this time Dan didn’t pull back, but his hand did come up to slide under Michael’s head and grip his hair, pulling just enough to make Michael ease up a little.

“Please,” Michael slurred against his lips, pulling Dan’s other hand back down to his dick, which was still aching with the need for attention and making Michael feel crazy.

“Okay... okay,” Dan whispered back, and Michael wasn’t sure if Dan was trying to calm Michael or himself.

His hand started moving, though, small victory that it was, and Michael whimpered pitifully. He _ached_ , and the touch was just as much of a blessing as it was a curse, sending electric sparks through Michael’s nerves.

He was shaking, and feverish, and kissing Dan like his life depended on it because if he could just do that it would help make everything else tolerable.

“I got ya,” Dan murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Michael’s mouth in return before pulling away a little, but it was okay, he was shuffling around slightly until one of his knees was between Michael’s and his body was draped over him.

Dan’s underwear was chafing against his raw feeling dick, and Michael whimpered before clumsily shoving Dan’s underwear down and gripping his hips.

Dan gasped, but let him, and Michael hitched his hips up against Dan’s pelvis with a relieved groan. He still felt overwhelmed, but at least it felt different; his shaft pressed tight between their bodies giving him a new sensation of pressure.

Even better, Dan was hard too, and his favorite nerd partner seemed hesitant but unable to stop himself from rubbing his dick against Michael’s hip.

“Okay?” Dan whispered, and Michael gave an incredulous laugh.

“Not exactly the first time with you I imagined, but yeah, I’m okay,” Michael chuckled breathily, and Dan seemed to awkwardly freeze, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

“Jesus, _stop thinking_ ,” Michael groaned, gripping Dan’s hips harder and shoving up roughly, rubbing them against each other and Michael choked down a cry as he came.

Dan moaned, awkwardly shoving his face against Michael’s neck and breathing heavy as Michael’s movements rubbed Dan’s dick too. As much as Michael wanted to see Dan come, and just for him this time, he also really wanted Dan to hold on for just a while longer.

“Oh god, there’s lube in the drawer, please, for the love of god,” Michael babbled, spreading his legs and trying to make Dan get the picture.

Dan shuddered and moaned, and Michael shoved weakly at him, trying to get him to move and do what Michael wanted.

“Can’t,” Dan groaned, forcing himself back and away from Michael, sitting back on his heels and panting as he looked down at his partner with wide eyes.

“ _Can,_ ” Michael moaned back, fumbling for the drawer and getting his trembling hands around the lube bottle.

Dan looked on the edge of spontaneous combustion, but he was still on the bed and his cock was still hard and flushed and Michael _wanted it_.

“Don’t you fucking come,” Michael growled, lurching up with a fistful of lube and slicking Dan’s dick.

Dan moaned like he’d been shot, gripping Michael’s thigh with one hand while his other grabbed Michael’s wrist.

“Shouldn’t,” Dan groaned, “ _Shouldn’t_. Michael. You’re not in your right-”

Michael manhandled him, pulling him forward by the dick while his other hand grabbed Dan’s bicep and his weak knees managed to move out of the way to get Dan between them.

“Holy shit,” Dan panted heavily and looked like he was about to lose his mind; it was so hot Michael could barely breathe.

He pulled Dan down over him again, and kissed him like it was his last act on earth.

“Fuck me, _please_ ,” Michael whined, hiking his knees up high against Dan’s sides and pressing the tip of Dan’s dick against his hole.

Dan made a sound like he was dying as Michael’s hand moved from his arm to his hips and pulled him in, sinking Dan’s cock inside barely an inch but it was enough to make Michael’s eyes roll back in his head and Dan to _fucking finally_ stop hesitating and push the rest of the way in of his own accord.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” Dan chanted under his breath, until his pelvis was flush with Michael’s ass and Michael could barely hear anything besides his own blood pumping.

Dan’s hips thrusted in and it triggered another orgasm in Michael, and this time he couldn’t stop his voice from crying out as he rode the brutal crest of pleasure rippling through his whole body.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Dan cursed, gripping Michael’s ass and pistoning in fast and jerky without any semblance of control and it was _fucking perfect_.

“Oh fuck, oh shit, Michael, I’m gonna... gonna...” Dan babbled, still thrusting unevenly and desperate and Michael groaned brokenly, but could barely breathe, let alone speak.

Dan made a stupidly hot “ah!” sound over and over under the rapid sound of his pelvis hitting Michael’s ass, and it was stupid to romanticize, but there was something gorgeous about the way they ended up coming together, and Michael finally passed out from the intensity.

He was conscious intermittently after that, shaking his way through a few more painful orgasms that brought overwhelmed tears to his eyes, but Dan never left. Every time Michael opened his eyes, he could see Dan, and every time his body forced him to come again Dan was easing him through it and shushing him comfortingly.

The overwhelming waves of arousal slowly got further and further apart, until whatever that drug was doing to him worked its way through his body, and Michael slept for the first time in almost two days.

Dan was still there when he woke up.

He was still there and looking anxious, with pinched worry lines between his eyebrows and tension around his eyes and mouth.

He helped Michael shower, and forced him to drink a glass of water as he changed the sheets.

Michael almost felt human again as he laid back down in the newly fresh smelling bed, and Dan stood awkwardly beside the mattress in his undershirt and pants.

Michael reached out to tug on his hand.

“Please stay.”

Dan looked uncertain, but Michael wrapped his fingers around Dan’s hand slowly and Dan didn’t pull away.

“Please, Daniel,” Michael asked again, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Dan seemed to slowly soften, and Michael put on his best puppy dog eyes, and even threw in a little whine for good measure.

Dan cracked a small smile at that, and Michael felt a flutter of triumph.

“We should talk about this,” Dan said, but his fingertips were stroking the side of Michael’s hand and that was _lovely_.

“What’s to talk about? We want each other, so we should have each other. It’s pretty simple.”

“Do you?” Dan asked softly, and Michael felt like his heart was fit to crack with the weary doubt in Dan’s voice.

“Thought that was pretty clear,” Michael frowned, “Don’t you?”

Dan bit his lip and tightened his grip on Michael’s hand.

“Yes,” he said softly, “God help me, but... yes.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“You were drugged, I practically... god,” Dan looked pale, and Michael tugged on his arm, pulling him to sit down on the bed.

“Still knew exactly who was taking care of me,” Michael reassured him, “You didn’t trick me, Dan, or make me do anything. I wouldn’t want anyone else getting me through that.”

Dan still looked unsure, but less so, and Michael tugged on his hand again.

“Lay down,” Michael demanded, “You’re the little spoon.”

Dan gave a startled laugh, and Michael smiled back at him.

He finally laid down, still mostly dressed, but Michael wasn’t going to pick a fight about it at the moment. It was the little victories.

Dan was a lovely little spoon, as Michael knew he would be, and it was easy to fall back asleep.

He was never buying drugs from anyone who wasn’t Raoul again, that was for damn sure, but getting Dan in his bed out of the whole, bad trip wasn’t something he could complain about.


	9. Dan/Michelle, Seduction

Michelle Swaim was a force to be reckoned with.

He had been warned as much when he took on the job, but actually seeing her whirlwind of destruction and chaos was a whole different story. He was pouring whiskey into his coffee within three months of working there.

She was just _so much_ all the time. So demanding and loud and energetic and troublesome. Sometimes he wanted to put her on a leash just to keep track of her.

“Dan!” she always said his name with such enthusiasm, “Guess what?”

“What, Michelle?” Dan sighed, still plugging away at his computer as she threw herself into the extra chair in his cubicle.

“Crazy Raoul found a secret entrance to Seaworld, we’re going to free the sea lions tonight. Wanna come?”

“Absolutely not,” Dan said sharply, “And you’re not either. I have no reservations about calling the cops on you, Michelle, I mean it. No releasing wild animals.”

Michelle drew one leg up onto the corner of his desk and sighed, “Do you know how to have fun?”

“Yep, there are plenty of fun things that don’t involve illegal activities.”

“Pft,” Michelle waved, then nudged his elbow with the foot she had up on the desk, “First of all, I beg to differ. Second of all, I don’t believe you. Name one fun thing that you do.”

“Read. Watch movies. I hike, on occasion.”

“Jesus, you’re such a fucking nerd.”

Dan didn’t bother to answer her, and she nudged him with her foot again. And again. And a third time.

“Michelle!” Dan finally snapped, turning to look at her; immediately going scarlet and turning back to his computer so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash, “Jesus _Christ_ , Michelle, what the fuck are you doing?”

She was wearing a skirt. A very little, very tight skirt that was practically bunched up at her waist with the splayed way she was sitting. That wasn’t the most obscene part, however. The most obscene part was the fact that she wasn’t wearing underwear, completely exposing herself to Dan.

Dan regained brain function enough to shove her leg off his desk, determinately _not looking_ and trying to get his embarrassed flush under control.

“Hey!” Michelle frowned, “What was that for?”

“The very idea that you’re asking me that is certifiably insane. You realize that, right?”

She pouted, stretching her long legs out in front of her instead, and frowning at him.

Dan risked a glance to the side, and she hadn’t tugged her skirt down but at least her legs were together. His eyes slid up toward her face, and he frowned at the rest of her attire.

She was practically naked.

The tight little skirt was topped with a tank shirt that had a plunging neckline and low cut sleeve holes, and of course Michelle wasn’t wearing a bra. The whole thing was barely enough fabric to cover her, and Dan was red from the top of his head down to his collar.

“Michelle, _what_ are you wearing?”

“It’s hot out,” Michelle justified, and Dan waved his hand aggravatedly.

“Our office is air conditioned!”

“The bus isn’t.”

“Jesus Christ, you rode the bus to work this morning looking like that?”

“God, Dan, don’t be such a prude. It was fine.”

Dan somehow doubted that, though the idea that Michelle would be flattered by catcalling was not that far fetched.

“I’m driving you home tonight. I don’t want you riding the bus like that, it worries me.”

“Aw,” Michelle grinned, and embarrassment flushed through Dan all over again, “My white knight.”

“Please shut up,” Dan sighed, “I’m not a white knight, I’m your partner. I’m just looking out for you. That _is_ my job, you know.”

“Uh-huh. Sure, Daniel, I’ll believe that.”

Dan sighed again and tried to focus back on his work. He didn’t care what Michelle believed, as long as she let him get her home safe.

If Dan survived to the end of the day. There was a good chance his heart was going to give out long before that.

He knew Michelle had no sense of modesty, but she seemed to be really pulling out all the stops. Leaning on Dan’s desk with her barely-shirt gaping or sitting with her thighs open, and acting confused when he would make her sit down or telling her to go back to her own desk.

Dan wasn’t a perv, he didn’t get off on sneaking glances at ladies cleavage or skirts riding up, but Michelle was practically making herself into porno foreplay right in his cubicle, and he spent a large chunk of his day tucked up tightly to his desk to avoid her seeing his persistent hard on.

It was infuriating, is what it was; he was almost completely sure she was doing it on purpose, though he had no idea why.

He managed to escape her presence at lunchtime, and locked himself in a bathroom stall for a few minutes of blissful quiet and Michelle-less peace.

Mostly. It was also to deal with the excruciating blue balls he had been aching with since the moment she put her leg up on his desk and put herself on display.

He was only human. And as much as Michelle’s behavior left him confused and off-kilter, she was also his very pretty partner and Dan was in a dry spell of depressing proportions.

Dan fumbled for his belt, shoving his pants down to mid-thigh and spreading his legs to keep them there. He had to be fast, who knew how long Michelle would allow herself to be distracted.

He spit into his hand and took his aching dick into a tight grip, suppressing a groan as he started stroking rapidly. It made a wet sound, and he prayed that no one came into the bathroom to hear this. He was ashamed enough as it was.

He tried not to let images of Michelle come into his mind and failed pretty spectacularly. She was just so... _everywhere_. Taking up space in Dan’s cubicle and time and brain. And now she was putting herself on display like she was trying to sell herself to him, and he just couldn’t understand _why_.

The image of her with one leg on his desk, completely open to him, came unbidden into his mind. She was completely shaved, and the sight of the rosey lips of her pussy were seared forever into his mind. His traitorous brain imagined what it might have been like if he had sank to his knees in front of her, and put his mouth to those pink folds.

He braced his forearm against the side of the stall, hand stroking rapidly as he bit his lip to be quiet. His spit was drying a little, making the friction rougher but it was good, it was sending tingles of pleasure up and down his spine. He tightened his hand and twisted his wrist and _there_.

He came in hard spurts, some of it landing in the toilet and some dribbling onto the seat, and he let out a tense, relieved breath. He pulled off some toilet paper to wipe his hand and the seat, then double checked his clothes just in case. He was in the clear.

He looked in the mirror as he washed his hands, then splashed cold water on his face for good measure. He was kind of flushed, and he sighed as he wiped the water away with a paper towel.

“She’s going to be the death of me,” he mumbled at his reflection, then gave his clothes a last minute straighten before finally leaving the restroom.

He returned to his desk to find Michelle eating an apple that was clearly filled with heroin, if the glazed look in her eyes was any indication, and he sighed as he sat down at his desk.

“You planning to get any work done today, Michelle?” he asked, and she chortled.

“I am working,” she answered with a smirk, and Dan frowned at her.

“I’m not sure what makes you think that’s true.”

“I’m running an experiment, Daniel. Very important, very hush-hush.”

“Yeah? What kind of experiment?”

“Did you not hear me say it was hush-hush? I’d have to _kill_ you, Daniel. And I don’t have room under my desk for another body.”

“ _Another_ body?!”

“Don’t worry about it, Dan. All under control.”

Dan really, _really_ hoped she was joking, but he made a point of looking under her desk later anyway, just in case. He found fast food bags and some candy wrappers, but thankfully no bodies.

The end of his long, agonizing day took forever to arrive, but _finally_ it was time to go home, and Dan ushered Michelle out to his car.

She put her feet up on the dash, and Dan sighed, tapping on her knee.

“I’m begging you, Michelle, please sit right.”

“I am sitting right. I’m not on my head, am I?”

“I _mean_ ,” Dan said aggravatedly, “Please sit with your feet on the floor. And your seatbelt on. If we were to get into a crash you’d be lunch meat.”

“Do you always assume the worst case scenario?” Michelle sighed, doing nothing to pull her feet down or put her seatbelt on, and Dan huffed with frustration as he reached across her to grab the seatbelt and click it into place.

“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” he informed her, and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, if you want to live a boring life.”

“If you want to live a _long_ life,” Dan insisted, tapping on her knee again, and she finally relented with a huff, “And I plan to, thank you very much.”

“Old man Dan,” she grinned, “posting listicles of the weirdest animal poo from a rocker in a nursing home.”

Dan chortled and buckled his own seat belt before starting the car and putting it into gear, “More like Daniel O’Brien, achieved novelist and historian, writing his last great masterpiece from a rocker on his estate.”

Michelle laughed loud and exuberantly, “Really? That’s the dream?”

Dan felt heat creeping up the back of his neck, but he stuck to his guns as they pulled out of the parking garage, “That’s the aspiration, yes.”

Michelle laughed again, but didn’t comment further, opting instead to roll down the window and lean her folded arms on the bottom of the window frame, tilting her face up toward the sun with a sigh.

She looked as content as a dog would, feeling the breeze and the warmth of the California sun out of the car window, and Dan imagined the wind swishing her ponytail around akin to a dog’s ears flapping. It was a cute and funny image, and he smiled as he put the car into reverse and pulled out of his parking spot.

“Give me your address,” he tapped on her lower back, and she sighed.

“Do I have to? Can’t I just come home with you? We could have some fun together, Dan!”

He sighed, “No. I have plans tonight.”

“Plans?” she withdrew from the window as he pulled out of the parking garage and into the street, “What plans? With _who?_ ”

She was pouting, and sounded... jealous? Dan entertained the idea for a moment, but immediately dismissed it. Michelle couldn’t be jealous. Not over Dan, anyway.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said aloofly. The truth of the matter was, he _did_ have plans, but they were an entirely solo affair; namely, catching up on the pile of comic books that had been accumulating on his coffee table for three months. There were at least a dozen he was waiting to read, and he was looking forward to sinking into his couch and reading them with a strong drink to wind down for the evening.

Michelle frowned at him, crossing her arms sulkily, “There aren’t supposed to be secrets between partners, Daniel. It’s a rule.”

Dan chortled and raised an eyebrow at her, “According to who?”

“ _Everyone_ , obviously. Don’t you know how this is supposed to work?”

“Yep, and beyond Cracked’s walls I have no obligation to tell you my personal plans.”

Michelle huffed angrily, returning to her window and leaning her chin on her arms, frowning at the surrounding cars.

“Tell me your address, Michelle,” Dan sighed, and she finally mumbled it at him.

She was ticked. Dan doubted it was really his refusal to tell her his plans, and more just the fact that she wanted to pester him some more today and he wasn’t playing into it. He was a toy for her, nothing more.

He glanced at her a few times during the drive, watching the way her ponytail whipped around and her loose, barely-a-tank-shirt fluttered around her. Even with the pout, she was lovely, and Dan had to make himself focus on the road.

He frowned when he pulled up in front of a run-down rancher, “This is it, right?”

Michelle nodded, unbuckling her seat belt. She sat back in the seat, just staring at him for a moment and Dan raised his eyebrows questioningly.

He gasped when she was suddenly leaning into his space, one hand coming up to grip the back of his neck and the other cupping and squeezing the front of his pants.

“Ditch your plans tonight,” she said, her face close to his and her eyes bright and determined, “Let’s fuck around.”

“Holy jesus,” Dan squeaked breathlessly, gripping her wrist and panting, “Michelle- _what_ -”

“I know you jerked off thinking about me today,” she smirked, and Dan flushed red as a tomato and tried to sputter a denial, “Come _on_ Daniel, I’m offering to let you have me _for real_ , not some jerk off fantasy, why aren’t we half way to naked by now?”

“Because!” Dan exclaimed, “Because we’re partners, and because the Chief will probably kill us, and because- because-”

“The Chief doesn’t care, we can still be partners and have sex, and I know you want me as much as I want you so what. is. the. problem?”

Michelle rubbed her thumb along his shaft and he let out a strangled sound, brain whirling and sputtering and running hard off the rails. This was _insanity_ ; there were so many reasons why he should _not, under any circumstances say yes_.

But then she was pulling him in by her grip on his neck and kissing him. It was the filthiest kiss Dan had ever experienced, and his brain ceased to function as her hand squeezed and rubbed his cock through his pants.

“Wore this for _you_ , idiot,” she murmured against his mouth, letting go of his dick to grab his hand and guide it up the inside of her thigh, “Wanted you to see what I was offering you.”

Dan groaned overwhelmingly, practically lightheaded with everything that was happening, and Michelle kissed him again.

This was a bad idea. A _stupidly_ bad idea. There were so many ways this could come back to bite him.

Then she guided two of his fingers inside her and moaned so beautifully, her inner walls feeling like hot velvet and squeezing around his digits and _fuck_ he wanted to feel that around his dick.

“ _Fuck,_ ” he said out loud on a moan, rocking his fingers inside her and making her gasp, “Fuck. Okay. Yes. Okay.”

Michelle moaned prettily, mashing their mouths together for a brutal kiss and trying to climb over the gearshift and into his lap.

“Michelle, stop!” Dan gasped, grabbing her hip, and she pulled back with a frown, “Your house is _right there_ , let’s just go inside.”

Michelle growled with frustration, but then she was hopping out of the door and banging her hands on the roof impatiently, “Come on, Dan!”

Dan scrambled to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out, shoving his keys in his pocket hurriedly.

This was really happening. This was _actually happening_ , and Dan’s head was spinning. She waited for him on the passenger side, and grabbed his hand to pull him into the house; she felt urgent and wild, and Dan’s heart raced.

He didn’t have much time to look around, but the place seemed sparsely furnished and shabby, which made him feel sad and worried. Michelle was this beautiful, unbridled creature; constantly seeking thrill after thrill and chasing any high she could conceive of, and it showed in moments like this. Dan wasn’t like that, had never been like that, so he _worried_ , constantly, about her pushing her physical wellbeing to the wayside.

Then she was shoving him down onto her bed and climbing on top of him, and Dan decided right then and there that this woman would never sleep in any other bed but his if he had anything to say about it. It was laughable, really, to think that Michelle would even _want_ that, but he would offer anyway.

“Your brain is loud,” Michelle informed him, fingers racing up the front of his shirt and undoing all the buttons, “Stop thinking. Touch me.”

Dan didn’t have to be told twice, and he ran his hands up from her calves to her waist with a breathy sound as she tugged off his tie and pushed his shirt open.

“How do you _move_ in all these clothes?” she complained, pushing up the hem of his undershirt, “I shouldn’t have to work this hard to get you naked.”

Dan gave a mildly frenzied laugh at the surrealness of the moment, then sat up enough to let her push the button up down his arms and off before peeling his undershirt over his head. She made a pleased sound, eyes darting all over him as he laid back down, and he blushed, feeling self-conscious.

“Your fucking _shoulders_ , Daniel,” she moaned, stroking her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, “Fuck, I just want to hook my knees over them and ride your goddamn _face_.”

His body had a shocked, visceral reaction to that, and he groaned pathetically as he grabbed her hips and pulled her down against the bulge in the front of his pants desperately.

She moaned, squeezing her thighs on either side of his hips and grinding down, her tiny skirt bunched up around her waist.

“For fuck’s _sake_ , O’Brien, finger me or something,” she gritted between clenched teeth, squirming and grinding against him and Dan shuddered and panted. He pushed his hand between her legs, sinking his fingers back into her slick heat, and she bit her lip.

She reached down and guided his thumb to rub against her clit as his fingers rocked, and Dan watched with fascination as her eyes slipped closed and her head tilted back with a gasp. She braced her free hand against his chest, her other hand still guiding his movements, and Dan _ached_ to see her fall apart.

“Show me how to make you come,” he panted, and her eyes fluttered open with a small smile.

“Just like this, baby,” she groaned, pushing his thumb to rub hard against her clit in tight little circles, and Dan moaned at the way she shook and rocked into his hand.

It was _stunning_ , her face getting an adorable rosy flush to it and her thighs squeezing him tight, and he used his free hand to reach up and grip the back of her neck, tugging her down gently.

She moved her hand from his chest to the mattress above his head, leaning down eagerly to push her lips against his and immediately licking into his mouth like he was best thing she had ever tasted.

She guided him to rub her faster, more directly, almost roughly, and Dan moaned into her mouth as she started to shake.

She was close; everything in her breathing and shaking and grinding was telling him so, and he wanted to _feel_ it. He released her neck, rearranging his hands so he could devote one entirely to rubbing her clit and the other could push two fingers into her velvet heat, curling toward the front of her pelvis and thrusting as deep as he could get them.

Michelle gasped and writhed, pressing her head down to his chest with a high pitched sound until she went tight around him beautifully.

“Yes,” Dan whispered, still rubbing her clit as her pussy twitched and spasmed, “That’s it.”

Michelle made a pitiful sound, writhing and grinding down until she gave an overwhelmed gasp and pushed his hand away. Dan felt warm all over and positively _gleeful_ with accomplishment. He was going to perfect that until he could make her come in his sleep. He wanted to make her come all the damn time.

Her hands shifted to his belt, and she moved back enough to work open the buckle and button, then slid down the zipper with rough tugs.

“Easy,” he gasped, and she chortled, sliding her hand into his underwear and grabbing his dick. He moaned sharply, bucking into her hand, and she groaned longingly.

“Knew you’d be thick,” she said giddily, shoving his underwear down and stroking him slowly, “ _Knew_ it. You fucking stud.”

Embarrassment flooded to Dan’s face, and he groaned as he shook his head.

“Fuck, you’re going to feel so good,” she breathed, lifting her head, and Dan craned his neck up, seeking a kiss.

She giggled, giving one to him, and then half-crawled off of him to dig around in her nightstand.

She sat back with a condom clenched between her teeth, then gave him a cheeky look before opening it and sucking the tip into her mouth. With a wink she was scooting down to roll it down his cock with her lips, and Dan almost came when she was able to roll it all the way down to the base without her hands.

“Pretty impressive, huh?” she asked him with a smug smile as she pulled off, and Dan gave a breathy laugh.

“Uh-huh,” was all he could think to say, then she was crawling back up his body and straddling his hips again.

He suddenly realized she was still wearing her tank top, and he grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged it over her head sharply. She tossed it to the floor carelessly, and grabbed Dan’s hands to cup them to her tits while she bit her lip.

Michelle was willowy and lean, and her breasts matched her body type; an easy handful that was still deeply satisfying for Dan to squeeze and envision putting his mouth to. Her nipples were taut and hard, and he rubbed at them with his thumbs. She pushed herself into his touch, squirming and panting, and then suddenly his dick was in her hand again and she was guiding him inside of her.

Dan gasped and bucked as her tight heat enveloped him for the first time, sinking all the way down until she was flush against his pelvis. Then she _rocked_ , squeezing her inner muscles and Dan groaned sharply.

“Don’t come yet, Dan,” she panted at him, “Don’t you come yet, think about milk or something.”

Dan chuffed out a breathless laugh, and she braced her hands on his chest as she rose up and he slid out of her a few inches; she held there for a moment, biting her lip before sinking back down and squeezing with a little sound.

Dan grabbed her hips and pulled her down harder, flexing up with a desperate moan, and she clenched with a pretty gasp.

“Hold tight,” she murmured, and Dan groaned and arched as she started riding him in earnest, which was hands-down the hottest thing he had ever seen.

She was just so _into it_ ; making the most glorious sounds and throwing her head back and cursing. And if Dan wasn’t witnessing it with his own eyes he wouldn’t have believed how _wet_ she was; her slickness literally sliding down his dick to wet his pelvis and smearing shiny streaks on the inside of her thighs.

“ _Fuck,_ look at you,” Dan groaned breathlessly, hiking up on one elbow so he could watch his dick disappearing inside of her body, “Holy shit, you’re the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Michelle shook and clenched around him tightly with a gasp, pitching forward so she could kiss him roughly, and Dan growled as he bit her lip and fisted his hand around her ponytail. He gave a sharp tug and she cried out, grinding down on him frantically and going tight as a vise and _fuck_ she was _coming_.

Like pulling a trigger, he was done for, coming hard and intense and noisily and Michelle squeezed and squeezed until every last pulse of his orgasm shuddered out of him and he collapsed back on the bed.

She followed him down, pressing them chest to chest and they panted and trembled together in the aftermath.

“Jesus, you’re fucking incredible,” Dan rasped hoarsely, running a hand up her back and releasing her ponytail to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

She laughed breathlessly, pulling back enough to give him a messy kiss and he moaned into it.

“Does... is this...?” he murmured softly, and Michelle made a questioning sound.

“Is this going to change things?” he finally whispered, and Michelle made a contemplative sound.

“I hope so,” she replied quietly, giving him another kiss, this one softer and sweeter, “I have so much more I want to do to you, Daniel, you have no idea.”

Dan moaned, his arm tightening around her shoulders for a moment. This was still a terrible idea, he knew that objectively; it was only going to end up with injury, whether physical or emotional or both, but he was _enraptured_ by the idea of doing this again and again. Michelle was like a drug, and he got it now, why she loved her mind-altering substances so much.

He reached up and gently worked the hair tie out of her hair, her messy locks flowing down around her shoulders and brushing Dan’s face, and he gently brushed it to Michelle’s other shoulder before stroking his hand over her head.

She made a little, pleased sound and nuzzled his neck, so Dan did it again, and kept on doing it until he realized that Michelle was starting to fall asleep.

“Michelle,” he murmured, rubbing her back and she gave a little moan of protest. He said her name again, giving her shoulder a gentle shake and she moaned again and swatted him away.

“Come on, sweetheart, we need to get up,” Dan chuckled, pushing his head up to kiss her shoulder, and she paused.

“Did you just call me ‘sweetheart’?”

Panic and regret pinged around his head like pinballs, and color flushed over his face, “Sorry. Sorry, I won’t-”

She made a frustrated sound and tweaked one of his nipples sharply, ignoring his hissed “ _Ow!_ ”

“No no no, Dan. I like it, it sounds nice when you say it,” she said with frustration, rubbing his chest now instead, “Keep saying it.”

“Okay,” he breathed, going back to stroking her hair for a minute, and she pushed up to kiss him again before rolling off to the side and shimmying out of her tiny skirt.

Then she was beautifully naked and giving a luxurious stretch beside him with a moan.

“How fast can you get it up again?” she asked him with a smile, and Dan’s heart picked up tempo, “I’ll trade you doggy style for going down on me.”

Dan gave a surprised laugh, and turned onto his side to kiss her again, “You don’t enjoy doggy style?”

“Of course I do, it’s great,” she frowned at him, “why would you think I don’t like it?”

“Because you just asked me to trade you doggy style for oral. Made it sound like doggy style would be more of a favor to me than to you.”

“It is, you get to enjoy my awesome ass,” Michelle informed him smugly, and Dan laughed again.

“Hadn’t thought of it like that, but I guess you’re right.”

“When are you going to learn that I’m always right, Daniel?” she sighed, and Dan chortled.

“The day that actually becomes true instead of a ridiculous exaggeration?”

She kissed him and bit his lip.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing, my padawan.”

“Oh lord, don’t abuse _Star Wars_ references.”

“Why, ‘cause it’ll give you a nerd boner? We’re _aiming_ for more boners, here.”

“You butchering _Star Wars_ is the exact opposite of a boner. Leave it to the professionals.”

Michelle chortled, and Dan smiled.

“Just get your lightsaber up and jedi _master_ me,” she smirked, and Dan sighed and shook his head.

“You drive me crazy.”

Michelle grinned wider and rubbed a hand down his chest, “Yeah, crazy for me. Which always works out in my favor so I’m not gonna stop.”

“Never figured you would.”

Michelle pulled him down and pressed a kiss to neck, then worked her way up his chin until she hit his mouth.

Dan could get used to this. Dan was ashamed of how much he loved this.

 _Doomed_ he thought distantly, but he couldn’t find it in him to panic. He probably would, later, when the dopamine from the amazing sex wore off. But right now he could kiss her until he could go again, and that sounded much nicer.


	10. Danielle/Michelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't do enough lady on lady love.

Dani was a control freak. It wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t something she disliked about herself. Hell, that was why she had been hired, to try to rein in Cracked.com’s resident wild card.

It backfired a bit, inasmuch as while she had been able to bring Michelle’s impulsive and reckless behavior down from the rafters and down to a more reasonable level, the change hadn’t been completely one-sided.

Michelle made her feel _brave_ , which was not usually an attribute she assigned herself. But there was just something about her overwhelming confidence that rubbed off on Dani, and made Michelle’s crazy ideas seem less crazy. Worse than that, though, was that it made _Dani_ give in to her crazy ideas.

Like pinning Michelle’s hands to the bed while Dani ate her out, denying her her usual impulse to bury her fingers into Dani’s hair, using the grip to tug and pull.

Michelle tried to twist her wrists out of Dani’s grip, and Dani surprised even herself with the way she immediately snapped, “No. Keep still.”

Her heart raced when Michelle turned to putty, moaning and trembling as her arms went limp in obedience. Obedience that Dani never got from her, not ever. It pushed at something Dani didn’t even knew was in her, power and pleasure pinging around in her head like a ricocheting bullet.

“Next time you’re tying me up,” Michelle had groaned, and Dani had gone completely scarlet, but couldn’t find the words to argue.

Then Michelle dropped leather cuffs onto her lap the next day at work, and Dani had gasped and flushed before hurriedly stashing them in a drawer and out of sight.

Dani honestly thought Michelle was mostly humoring her. That she was just so surprised by Dani’s behavior the night before that she wanted to play around to see where it went. Just curiosity, nothing more. Michelle was a hurricane, why would she let Dani subdue her?

As it turned out, Michelle was more complicated than Dani was giving her credit for.

She giggled giddily when Dani fastened the cuffs around her wrists, and immediately hooked them around the back of Dani’s neck so she could pull her in for an overeager, messy kiss. And the beautiful, lust-inducing cherry on top was how unbelievably, porn-worthy wet she was; it was literally dripping down Dani’s wrist within minutes, and Michelle came loudly and wildly so fast Dani almost didn't believe it was real.

Dani’s brain was so fogged with lust that words just came spilling out of her mouth, “Fuck, you’re so pretty. Want to see that pretty pink cunt stuffed with dick.”

Michelle had groaned, writhing and sweating and whispering _yes!_ and it was all Dani could do to keep from spontaneously combusting. She grabbed her pink dildo and pushed it into Michelle’s dripping pussy, panting and sweating at the way Michelle pressed down onto the fake dick with a cry.

Dani thrust it into her hard and fast, just the way Michelle liked it, and Dani licked her lips as she watched her partner’s tits bounce with every thrust.

She reached up with her free hand and grabbed the chain that linked the cuffs together, stretching Michelle’s hands above her head and pinning them down against the mattress. Michelle moaned long and breathless, and Dani ducked her head down to bite and mouth at her breasts.

Michelle’s legs tried to close, twisting and whining and trying mindlessly to get some pressure on her clit, and Dani released her grip on the cuffs so she could moved down the bed and put her mouth to Michelle’s flushed, shiny pussy. Barely thirty seconds of rubbing her tongue furiously against Michelle’s clit and she was coming; back arching, legs shaking, and just being the hottest thing Dani had ever seen.

Her hips humped at nothing, so turned on at watching Michelle fall apart _twice_ that she could barely stand it. And because she felt lust-drunk and powerful, she crawled up Michelle’s body and straddled her head, “Get me off.”

Michelle’s eyes flew open, her face pink and her eyes glazed, and she moaned as she immediately craned her neck up to lick Dani’s clit. Dani cradled her head, grinding down against the sensation, and Michelle moaned and whined as she licked until Dani was shaking and crying out, her pussy clenching and her wetness coating Michelle’s chin.

It was a successful first attempt at a little BDSM, if Dani did say so herself.

They still had vanilla sex, but more and more they found themselves pulling out the cuffs, with Michelle being all too eager to accept them.

It was captivating, really. How beautiful Michelle looked being submissive and pliant. Especially when pain was involved.

Michelle was already panting when Dani put the cuffs on her; so eager to get pushed around and there was no denying that Dani was addicted to that feeling.

She bit Michelle’s breasts, soothing each bite with her tongue, and Michelle gasped and moaned but kept her hands obediently over her head, the cuffs securely in place.

Dani groaned as she worked her way down, leaving bites down Michelle’s belly that made her twitch and whine, but she spread her thighs and hiked up her knees pleadingly.

“Good girl,” Dani whispered, rewarding her with a lick from the opening of her pussy to her clit, and Michelle gasped and jerked. Dani didn’t spend long there, though it was certainly tempting, and she bit the inside of Michelle’s thighs before pulling back and putting her hand on Michelle’s hip to nudge her until she rolled over onto her belly.

Michelle arched and Dani pulled her up onto her knees, her chest still braced against the mattress, and landed a sudden slap to Michelle’s right cheek.

Michelle cried out, leaning back into it, and Dani moaned as she struck her again on the opposite side.

“Fuck, yes,” Michelle panted, arching back again, and Dani started up a steady rhythm, the loud sound of her palm making contact with Michelle’s ass echoing in the room.

She bit her lip when Michelle’s ass was vivid pink, rubbing for a moment at the hot skin before sliding one hand down between Michelle’s legs.

They both moaned at the dripping wetness she found there, and Dani teasingly ran her finger around Michelle’s clit before pushing a finger inside her.

Michelle whined, thrusting back against the intrusion, and Dani rewarded her with a sharp thrust and another slap to her ass that made Michelle cry out.

“You want it?” Dani asked, pressing a kiss to Michelle’s lower back, and Michelle moaned noisily.

“Fuck, yes,” she said again, thrusting back against her fingers again and earning herself another hard slap, “Fuck, baby, fuck me, _please_.”

Michelle said “please” so prettily, and Dani’s fingers slipped out of her as she reached for the harness she had already put on the nightstand.

She got off the bed to step into it and tighten the straps, and she couldn’t help the impulse to push her hand between the harness and herself to rub at her clit, making her legs weak and her fingers come away wet.

She hurried back onto the bed, and gave Michelle’s ass another few smacks just for good measure, watching her jerk and whine so beautifully.

“You want it?” she found herself asking again, pushing between Michelle’s legs and rubbing the tip of her pink dildo along Michelle’s folds slowly, and Michelle gasped.

“ _Yes!_ ” Michelle groaned, rocking back into it, “Yes, fuck, yes!”

Dani had to take a moment, had to take a deep breath and look at the ceiling because this girl was absolutely going to be the death of her one day.

She nudged Michelle’s legs wider, gripped right above the red she had spanked onto her skin, and pushed in with one hard thrust.

Michelle shoved her face against the mattress and cried out, and Dani spanked each cheek and roughly dug her nails in, “No. Wanna hear you.”

Michelle gave a long moan, lifting her head and bracing her elbows against the bed as Dani started thrusting.

She got it, now, why dudes loved their dicks so much. Fucking someone was fucking _incredible_ ; watching Michelle’s flushed ass jiggle with every hard thrust, the sounds she made, the rhythm of using the whole strength of her body to fuck Michelle into the mattress... it was the swifted power high she could get.

It was enough to get her off; the pressure of the harness as she thrusted rubbing against her clit, partnered with the _insane hotness_ of fucking Michelle senseless would be enough to get her there and then some. Her own wetness would be dripping down her thighs by the time they were done.

Michelle was starting to make desperate, breathless sounds, and Dani hunched over her, thrusting rapid and hard as she slid one hand under her partner to rub her clit with her fingers; hard and fast and brutal to push Michelle over the edge as intensely as possible. Dani didn’t even want her to remember her own name.

Michelle thrashed and shoved back with loud, overwhelmed sounds, and then she went tense, shaking and clenching so hard Dani could barely move inside her.

“Good girl,” she panted, rubbing her fingers and rocking her hips until the tension snapped and Michelle became a whining, boneless ragdoll.

Dani panted against her back, grinding in and thrusting to put that pressure on her own clit, and Michelle whimpered and gasped with oversensitivity.

Dani kept going until she came, grinding in hard and panting and listening to Michelle whimper and writhe at the deep press of the dildo inside her.

She pulled back shakily, gripping Michelle’s ass and spreading her cheeks as she withdrew, the dildo shiny with Michelle’s slick and Dani groaned before pushing it back in and drinking up Michelle’s overwhelmed cry.

“Fuck, look at that cunt,” Dani groaned, brain most certainly offline and running without a filter, “Fuck... you could take anything, couldn’t you? You could take my whole hand.”

Michelle whined, jerking back into it uncontrollably and trembling.

Dani pulled back until just the tip remained inside her, then pushed back in slowly, watching it disappear into Michelle’s abused pussy.

“Can you come again?” Dani asked breathlessly, “Am I hurting you?”

Michelle whimpered and shook her head, though Dani wasn’t entirely sure which question she was answering.

Dani decided to risk it, churning her hips deep in Michelle’s body and watching through half-lidded eyes as Michelle clenched the sheets harder and squirmed.

They built up slowly, Dani’s thrusts getting faster and harder and Michelle thrashed when she started rubbing her clit again, but didn’t tell her to stop.

“Come on, baby,” Dani murmured against Michelle’s back, “You can do it, I know you can. Wanna feel you come on my dick again.”

Michelle let out a long, low moan, and Dani rubbed hard and quick at Michelle’s clit in answer, watching her shake and cry out and jerk until she came with a strained shout, clenching and trembling until she went boneless.

Dani ground in, riding it out until Michelle tried to scramble away with a painful cry, and Dani shushed her, stroking up and down her back as she withdrew very slowly and carefully.

She shoved her hand behind the harness, sitting back and grinding the heel of her palm against her clit until she was coming again, drinking in the sight of Michelle’s red ass and cunt dripping with slick and sweat.

“Good girl,” Dani whispered, stroking gently over Michelle’s sore flesh, and Michelle gave a little whimper.

Dani dropped onto her side so she could shimmy out of the harness, tossing it back on the bedside table before guiding Michelle down to the bed as well.

Michelle was well and truly out of it, eyes closed and body lax and limp as a ragdoll, and Dani reached up to brush Michelle’s hair back from her face.

She spooned up against her back, kissing Michelle’s shoulder and wrapping her arm tightly around her and letting her come down slowly.

Michelle needed this as much as Dani did. It seemed to be one of the only things that helped her wild, runaway train of a brain to slow down and it made Dani feel powerful to be the one to do it for her.

“Okay?” she whispered at Michelle about a half hour later, kissing her shoulder again and Michelle made a barely-there grunt of acknowledgement.

Dani smirked and kissed her shoulder again, settling in against her more and finally letting herself start to drift off. She’d take the cuffs off in a little bit, and then they’d truly settle in for the night to go to sleep.

Michelle was a wild card on her best days, and Dani never felt more pride than when she could get Michelle to let go and give it all up. The fact that she was giving it all up to Dani was what made it all the sweeter.


	11. Bed Sharing, Version 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is unforgivably sappy and probably OOC but whateverrrrr

Dan shouldn’t have asked, really. He should have known better, he’d been at this long enough to know better.

But after two weeks of ignoring the fact that Michael was sleeping under his desk at the office ( _Dan’s_ desk, mind you, not his own), Dan couldn’t stand the way Michael winced and limped along, looking horrifically sleep deprived and sore from laying on the floor for nights on end.

“Michael, why are you sleeping at the office?” Dan finally broke down and asked, and Michael looked guilty.

“No reason.”

“Michael.”

Dan gave him a long look, and Michael sighed.

“There may have been a _tiny_ mishap with the microwave,” he said nonchalantly, and Dan kept staring at him, waiting for the rest.

“And I _may_ ,” Michael added, “have not actually been allowed to be in that house. Legally. _Technically_. Tiny details, Daniel, nothing to worry about.”

“Oh for-” Dan sighed and rolled his eyes, “You were squatting in the house, is what you’re telling me? Or trespassing?”

“What’s the point of leaving a house all empty? It doesn’t make any sense, Dan, houses are made to be lived in.”

Dan sighed again and shook his head.

“It’s _fine_ , I’ll find another one. Eventually.”

Dan should have left it at that. Any reasonable person who knew Michael would have. But somewhere between getting hired and that moment, Dan must have lost his damn mind because instead he found himself opening his mouth to speak.

“You can crash on my couch in the meantime.”

Michael lit up like a Christmas tree, and Dan held up one hand sternly, “ _Temporarily_. I will be helping you find your own apartment, you will pay for any damage you do to my home and any food you eat, and you are to clean up after yourself or so help me god, Michael, I will kick you out so fast your head will spin. Got it?”

Michael nodded frantically, but he still looked manically happy and Dan already had the feeling he had made a mistake.

Surprisingly, Michael was fairly well behaved in the beginning. He didn’t complain about the fact that Dan’s couch was a little bit too short for him, or that Dan wouldn’t let him blast the TV once Dan went to bed, or that any and all drugs Michael wanted to use had to be kept elsewhere.

Dan was pleasantly surprised that Michael was a half-decent roommate. He had fully expected to have cause to kick him out after two days.

Clearly Michael was on his best behavior, but Dan couldn’t complain.

That is, until he went out for groceries after work and came back to find Michael sleeping on his bed.

“Michael!” Dan barked, shoving at his shoulder roughly and startling Michael awake, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Napping,” Michael murmured, rubbing his eyes sleepily, “I was tired.”

“This is my bed!” Dan reminded him irritatedly, “You have the couch, you do not have permission to sleep on my bed!”

“But it’s comfyyyyyyy,” Michael whined, “And you weren’t using it!”

“ _Boundaries_ , Michael,” Dan said with exasperation, “There are boundaries and this is one of them. Go back to the couch and finish your nap, I’ll wake you when I’m done cooking.”

Dan wasn’t completely heartless. Though he made Michael chip in money for food, Dan had no problem sharing his cooked meals with the man.

Michael sighed and growled as he got up, hair mussed, and went back to the living room to flop face-first onto the couch.

A few minutes passed and Dan could hear snoring from where he was preparing pork chops for the oven, and he shook his head with a little sigh.

Admittedly, it was nice having a second person in the apartment, even if it was Michael and his strange life. And though he had sent Michael multiple emails containing listings for apartments he could move into, the more time passed the less he pressed it.

Michael had been unofficially living with him for two months when Dan gasped and jumped awake in the middle of the night from the weight of Michael slamming into him.

“Michael!” he said hoarsely, voice sleep scratchy and exasperated, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“C-can’t,” Michael stammered, sounding wheezy and squeaky, which immediately made Dan’s emotions slip from annoyed to worried, “It’s- I can’t-”

Michael was gasping for breath and sounded on the edge of hysteria, and Dan hurriedly turned on the light next to his bed as he sat up and slipped his glasses on.

Michael looked terrified, his eyes wide and whole body shaking, and Dan grabbed his shoulders firmly and tried to remain calm himself.

“Michael, you need to calm down,” Dan said, keeping his voice even and steady, “You’re okay, buddy, it’s okay.”

Michael shook his head, his mouth twisting and his chin trembling, clearly trying to suppress tears, and Dan moved his hands to the sides of Michael’s face with barely a second thought.

“Michael,” he said gently, “You’re going to take a deep breath in, nice and slow, and let it out. I’m going to do it with you, okay? And we’re going to keep doing it until you calm down.”

Michael gave a little nod, and Dan slowly took a deep breath in. Michael followed him, his breath hitching and biting his lip, and Dan let his breath out slowly.

They did it a few times, and it seemed like Michael was starting to calm down, but then something seemed to crack inside him and he couldn’t stop the sob that tore out of his throat.

Michael covered his eyes with one hand, still shaking and full-on crying now, and Dan didn’t know what else to do besides pull Michael forward against him and hug him tightly.

“Okay,” Dan murmured, “Okay buddy, alright...”

Michael fisted his hand in Dan’s shirt, and Dan reached one hand up to stroke Michael’s hair soothingly. He still had no idea what was going on, but seeing Michael in pain like this was deeply upsetting in a way he had not expected.

He gently coaxed Michael to lay down with him, and he rubbed his back and continued to stroke his hair as Michael cried himself out. Dan breathed slow and even, determined to remain calm and give Michael an outlet to calm down too.

Michael’s sobs petered out slowly, until he was just hiccuping here and there and Dan’s shirt was significantly damp.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Dan asked gently, and Michael snuffled wetly. Dan reached to the nightstand and grabbed a few tissues, offering them to Michael, who sat back enough to blow his nose noisily. 

“Just...” Michael said hoarsely, “Dreams. Really bad. Really, _really_ bad. They felt...”

Michael trailed off, and Dan returned to rubbing Michael’s back, “Real?”

Michael nodded, pressing his face against Dan’s shoulder again and taking a deep breath.

“Can... can I stay?” Michael asked meekly, and Dan sighed, “Please, Dan? I’ll be good, just... don’t make me be by myself.”

Dan considered. This was a moment when he should absolutely say no; not saying no would without a doubt set a standard with Michael that he did not want. Michael needed boundaries, and not sleeping in Dan’s bed should be one of them.

But the way Michael had shook and cried, _really_ cried, not the exaggerated one he did for attention, had stripped away Dan’s armor when it came to his partner like it had been tissue paper.

Fuck.

Dan just sighed before he reached over to turn out the light and put his glasses back on the night stand, and Michael breathed a shaky little sigh of relief. He squeezed Dan tightly for a moment in silent thanks, then let go and got under the blankets with him.

Dan hoped that was the end of the whole thing. They would wake up tomorrow, go about their day, and things would return to normal.

But barely an hour after Michael had ended up in his bed a shaking mess, Dan was startled out of sleep by Michael putting a hand on his chest. Michael withdrew his hand immediately, and Dan huffed with annoyance.

“What’re you doin’?” Dan slurred sleepily, and Michael breathed out shakily.

“Just... checking.”

“Checking what?”

“Nothing,” Michael said quietly, “Nevermind. Sorry.”

“Please go to sleep, Michael,” Dan sighed, rolling over onto his side and putting his back to his partner.

“Yeah.”

A couple hours later, and Dan once again woke up to the feeling of Michael putting a hand on him, this time on his back.

“ _Michael,_ ” Dan husked out, and Michael withdrew, “Dude, just talk to me. What’re you doing?”

“Sorry,” Michael whispered, and Dan huffed before turning back toward Michael, determined to get to the bottom of this.

“Michael, what’s wrong?”

Michael was silent, and Dan blindly reached toward him in the dark, finding his arm and following it up to his shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze.

“Come on, man, I want to sleep tonight, and so should you. What’s wrong?”

“I just... keep thinking about that dream,” Michael finally confessed softly, and Dan gave his shoulder another squeeze.

“What did you dream?”

Michael sighed, and whined, and Dan rubbed his shoulder.

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“Why not?”

Michael made a frustrated sound, “Because you’ll get upset.”

“I’m already upset,” Dan informed him, “because _you’re_ upset and also now kind of scaring me, so I’d really feel better if you just told me what’s eating at you.”

Michael sighed again, and shifted anxiously, but finally huffed out a quick breath before answering, “I dreamed that you died. Horribly. And I couldn’t stop it.”

Dan felt a chill go down his spine, and Michael reached up to grip his forearm tightly, keeping Dan’s hand on his shoulder, “Are you mad?”

“Of course I’m not mad, Michael, stop it,” Dan replied, “You can’t help what you dream.”

“I keep thinking about it and I keep thinking it really happened,” Michael continued in a quiet murmur, “And I can’t really hear you breathe so it’s freaking me out.”

“Well...” Dan said quietly, “Nice to know you’d be upset if I died, I guess. Does this mean you’re not interested in murdering me anymore?”

“ _Dan_ ,” Michael groaned with exasperation, gripping Dan’s forearm a little tighter, and Dan rubbed Michael’s shoulder with a little laugh he couldn’t help but let slip out.

“Alright, I get it,” he said gently, “That’s... thanks, Michael. But I’m really fine, okay? I didn’t die, I’m right here.”

Michael sighed, “I know.”

Dan gave his shoulder another squeeze before letting go, and Michael let Dan’s forearm slide out of his hand.

“Please go to sleep, Michael,” Dan encouraged, “I’m fine, I promise.”

Michael took a deep breath and let it out in a puff, “Right.”

Dan tried to fall back asleep. He made a very valiant effort of it. But now that he knew the source of Michael’s distress earlier, it was hard to not think about it.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the idea of Michael dreaming about Dan’s violent death in and of itself, it was the fact that Michael had been so _upset_ about it. Dan had never seen Michael truly cry, let alone fall apart like that, and all over the idea of losing Dan?

Most of the time Dan thought, at best, he was just a convenient warm body for Michael to have as an audience. He was someone who could give Michael attention and bailed him out of trouble when the situation arose, and that was all Michael probably cared about.

But Dan reflected on the way Michael had looked; on the border of hysteria and shaking like a leaf, and that was definitely not the behavior of someone who had burned through seven partners before him with barely a bat of an eyelash.

Crazier still, Dan started thinking about how he would feel if the situation was reversed; if he had dreamed about Michael’s death, and how that would have affected him.

The very idea of it sent chills down his spine, and made icy dread and anxiety churn in his stomach.

Fuck, when had Michael taken center stage in his personal life too? He hadn’t ever intended that to happen, he had actively avoided it for quite a while, as a matter of fact. Finding ways to distance himself from Michael in every way that didn’t involve the office.

Seemingly, though, somewhere between Michael taking the blame for the leaked jokes to protect Dan (misguided as it was), and Dan opening his mouth to invite Michael to crash with him instead of sleeping at the office, Dan had gone and started to care for the guy.

Fuck.

Michael wasn’t sleeping either, Dan could tell.

“Michael?” he murmured after a moment, and Michael grunted in acknowledgement, “I just want you to know...”

Dan trailed off, uncertain of how to convey exactly what he wanted to.

“I just want you to know,” he began again, “That I... I’m sorry that that dream upset you. And I have no plans to die anytime soon.”

Michael chortled, and Dan did too. He was really bad at this.

“The point it,” he continued anyway, “I’m glad you’re my friend. And I’m glad that you’d care if I died, ‘cause I’d care a lot if you died too. I’d be really upset, actually.”

Michael was silent, and Dan swallowed nervously.

“Anyway,” Dan sighed, “The point is... I don’t know what the point is, I’m really bad at this friendship stuff.”

Michael gave a breathy laugh, and his hand slid across the sheet to wrap around Dan’s forearm, “It’s okay. I speak Dan, I get it.”

Dan laughed, and put his free hand over Michael’s for a moment.

“Thanks, Mike. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Dan didn’t comment when Michael’s hand didn’t move away, nor did he try to shake him off. He figured he’d give Michael a pass, all things taken into consideration. At least this way, he might stop waking Dan up because he was afraid Dan was dead.

Dan had become a master of ignoring things he didn’t want to face, and the next morning was no exception. They returned to normal, or their version of normal, anyway, and Cracked was just as weird and quirky as it usually was.

Dan was willing to put their “moment” in the rearview, and was fairly sure Michael was too, until he once again was woken up by Michael getting into his bed. The difference was that this time, Michael was trying to be sneaky about it; moving slowly and carefully and holding his breath.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked, and the bed jolted as Michael jumped and yelped in surprise.

“You scared the shit out of me!” Michael panted, “Don’t do that!”

“Don’t try to sneak into my bed and I won’t have to,” Dan replied, and Michael shifted nervously.

“Please?” Michael asked, and Dan sighed.

“Boundaries, Michael. We talked about this.”

“You let me last night!”

Dan knew that was going to come back to bite him in the ass.

“Last night was an exception because you were a fucking mess,” Dan growled at him, “Go back to the couch.”

Michael sighed, and didn’t move, and Dan was considering how he could manage to push Michael off the mattress if he had to.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like having someone here,” Michael finally said, “Everyone likes company, Daniel.”

“Still doesn’t mean I want you to be that company.”

“Of course it does,” Michael scoffed, “We’re friends, Daniel, you said so yourself.”

“I hate to break it to you, but friends don’t make a habit of sleeping together.”

“If we had sex would it make you feel better about it?”

“Jesus, Michael,” Dan’s face went hot in an instant, and he really, _really_ wanted to get as far away from this topic as possible, “No, for god’s- no! I’ve seen enough of your weird dick to last me a lifetime, thanks very much.”

“No need to be rude about it,” Michael harrumphed, and Dan sighed with exasperation, “Dan. Look. I promise, you won’t even know I’m here. Please don’t make me sleep on the sofa. Please?”

Dan was weak. He was really, stupidly weak, and it was going to get him in far worse trouble one of these days.

“Just- I’m too tired for this bullshit. Go to sleep, and stay on your side.”

Michael immediately snuggled down, and Dan just knew that he had a big, dumb smile on his face.

Dan shook his head and put his back to Michael with a huff. He was an idiot for allowing this, he really was.

To his credit, Michael at least did stay on his side. He didn’t hog the covers either, which was a pleasant surprise. Dan was still an idiot, and told himself so constantly, but as Michael being his bed partner became more and more normal for them, he berated himself less and less.

Begrudgingly, Dan had to admit that Michael _was_ right; having the company at night wasn’t completely unappreciated, even if it was Michael. It got to the point that the evenings when Michael would wander off to prowl a bar or go to some party or another (Dan always declined to join him), Dan found himself sleeping a lot less easily.

Which was dumb, but nevertheless true.

“Hey Dan,” Michael asked him one evening, right after they had turned the light off and settled in, “Can we see a movie this weekend?”

It was not uncommon for Michael to ask him weird questions while they lay in bed to go to sleep, so all things considered that was a pretty average one.

“Sure,” Dan yawned, “I’ll look up movie times tomorrow.”

“Yes!” Michael whispered, and Dan chortled. Michael was easily pleased on occasion.

Dan rolled over, then winced, his back spasming as he settled onto his stomach, and he could feel Michael sit up.

“You okay?” he asked, and Dan chuffed.

“My back is killing me from climbing out the fire escape and having to bend all weird to get you,” Dan reminded him, though he was mostly over it now. Michael had decided that parkour was a great hobby to take up on his lunch break, and had ended up stuck rather precariously on the fire escape outside the office. Dan, naturally, had been the one to fetch him, and his general soreness from the ordeal was mostly offset by the fact that Michael had compared him to Spider-Man with a look of admiration on his face.

“So fragile,” Michael chuckled.

“Fuck you,” Dan chortled, only half meaning it, and Michael laughed.

Dan gasped as suddenly Michael shuffled over and swung a leg over him, settling to sit on the back of Dan’s thighs.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Dan exclaimed, trying to twist around, then grunting at the pain that zinged through his muscles.

“Just relax, partner,” Michael reassured him, pushing the edge of his shirt up before pressing his hands to Dan’s back.

Dan froze, completely unsure of what to do, and Michael gave a small laugh.

“ _Relax_ ,” Michael said again, “I’ve got you, man, seriously.”

Dan tentatively tried to relax, and Michael’s hands steadily pressed and massaged along Dan’s lower back.

It felt... amazing, actually, and Dan had no idea where Michael had picked up this little skill set.

“You... what’s this for?” Dan couldn’t help but ask, and Michael chortled as he worked his thumbs on either side of Dan’s spine.

“Because you need it?” Michael said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “And that’s what partners do, right? Help each other out.”

Dan decided he was not going to look a gift massage in the mouth, and allowed himself to just let Michael carry on. It was more trust than he usually gave the man, but Michael seemed to know what he was doing.

He hit a sore spot, making Dan hiss, and Michael hummed thoughtfully as he worked the knot away with hard, firm pressure.

“Okay?” Michael murmured as the tension melted away, and Dan “mm-hmm”ed in answer.

“Lose the shirt,” Michael said a few minutes later, trying to reach Dan’s upper back and struggling with the restriction of Dan’s sleep shirt.

Dan was too relaxed and grateful for the massage to argue, and he fumblingly pulled his shirt up and over his head.

Michael worked his way up to Dan’s shoulders and the back of his neck, then even down his arms, and Dan would have sworn he had melted into a puddle of boneless goo with how good it felt.

“You asleep?” he heard Michael whisper, and Dan very nearly was, so he couldn’t find the energy to answer. He assumed Michael would lay back down next to him, his job done, and go to sleep himself.

Instead, Michael traced lightly and softly down Dan’s spine with his fingertips, then brushed the back of his fingers back up Dan’s back. It was one of the gentlest things he had ever seen Michael do, and Dan didn’t know what to do with the squiggly feeling that wrapped around his heart.

Then Michael leaned down, slowly and carefully, to press a soft kiss to Dan’s shoulder.

“Goodnight, Dan,” Michael whispered softly, then moved away and laid down on his back.

Dan felt frozen. Of all the things he had expected for that evening, getting a massage that ended with such a blatant act of affection hadn’t even crossed his mind.

For a few minutes he was partially convinced that he had dreamed it, but then Michael gave a shuddery breath before moving closer with painstaking slowness.

He stopped just short of actually touching Dan, and settled down again.

Things were always different in darkened bedrooms in the middle of the night. They were more raw, more open, more honest. And the raw, honest truth of that moment was the Dan didn’t want Michael to stop moving closer.

Dan’s heart was pounding. He would have sworn that Michael had to be able to hear it, it was so loud. But he somehow still found the courage to move closer to Michael, slowly, until Dan’s side was pressed up against Michael’s.

“Dan?” Michael whispered with barely a breath, and Dan swallowed.

“Yes, Michael,” he whispered back.

“You sure?”

Dan smiled into the pillow, “Yes, Michael.”

Michael gave a shaky exhale, then rolled onto his side and slid his arm across Dan’s back. His chin rested against Dan’s arm where it was tucked under the pillow, and Dan carefully hooked his ankle over Michael’s calf.

“Told you having company was nice,” Michael whispered, and Dan could hear the dumb smile on his face.

“Shut up,” Dan chortled, and Michael giggled ridiculously.

“Goodnight, Michael.”

“Goodnight, Dan.”


	12. Dan/Michelle, Fancy Dress

Dan had no idea what they were doing there, or what the event even was. All he knew was that Sarge had pulled him and Michelle into his office, handed them an envelope with an address and instructions inside, and told them to be there by no later than eight or they were fired.

Dan was in a rented tuxedo, and Michelle...

Michelle was a distraction, to say the least. Her dress was black and tight fitting, with a deep V neckline and scooped back that made it perfectly clear that she was not wearing a bra. It ended a few inches above her knees, and little black pumps giving her a couple extra inches.

She was even wearing makeup; red lips and winged eyeliner and mascara. She was stunning.

The venue was a ballroom, and similarly dressed, sharp-looking people milled around sipping champagne and eating h'ordeuvres, though not many people seemed to be talking. All Dan knew was that he had had to present an invitation to get in, and was instructed to talk to as a few people as possible.

Which was okay, honestly. He hated talking to strangers, and he was more than occupied with Michelle as it was.

She was on her third glass of champagne, and was eating food from every tray that passed them by.

“This is boring, but at least the food is good,” she said, licking breadcrumbs from her thumb, “You sure you don’t want some?”

Dan shook his head, fiddling with his cufflinks. He was too unsettled to eat, he wanted to get out of this strange party.

She stepped closer and leaned against his side, smirking, “Want to eat something other than food?”

Dan went scarlet.

“ _Michelle_ ,” he whispered, and she smirked, “Must you?”

“Yep,” she said taking a sip of champagne before sliding her free hand into his pocket and creeping it toward his dick.

He grabbed her wrist and she smirked wider.

“Absolutely not,” he growled, “knock it off.”

“Oh come _ooooonnnnn_ , we’ve got to liven up this party somehow,” she whined, Dan sighed exasperatedly and checked his watch.

“We only have to be here another hour and a half,” Dan told her, “You can wait.”

“No I can’t,” she pouted, “I’ll die from boredom by then.”

“You won’t. We’ll play a game.”

Michelle’s eye lit up.

“What kind of game?”

“Let’s pick people out and make up stories about them. You’re good at stories, I know you’ll have some good ones.”

She chortled, but slid her hand out of his pocket to hold his hand instead, and Dan breathed a little sigh of relief, interlacing their fingers.

“That guy,” she said, “With the red hair.”

Dan followed her gaze until he saw the red hair she was speaking of. He was a willowy guy with red hair and freckles, looking bored.

“Okay,” Dan said, “Tell me about him.”

She tilted her head, thinking, “I think he’s into pegging.”

Dan sighed and shook his head, “Not what I meant.”

“Well, he’s my story so I get to tell it how I want. He’s into pegging, and it all started with sitting on a hairbrush when he was ten.”

“Oh for god’s sake.”

“It awakened something in him, Dan! It changed his whole worldview. If stuff could feel good coming _out_ why couldn’t stuff feel good going _in_?”

Dan’s face flushed and he looked at the ceiling. He should have known better.

“So he tried it, and the first time he hit his prostate he passed out because he came so hard. It’s been a love affair ever since.”

“Is this a covert way of telling me you’re into pegging?” Dan asked, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

“I’m into _everything_ Daniel. But yes, pegging you would be insanely hot.”

Dan’s face got a little redder, and he plucked her glass of champagne out of her hand to take a sip of it, and she let him have it, grabbing another from a passing tray.

“Her,” she picked out someone else, a plump, middle-aged woman with rings on every finger and her hair piled high in a beehive, “She does something important by day. Runs a company or something. Which is why she’s so ashamed of the fact that she just wants a big, muscle-y guy to push her around and spank her. She wants it to be like the cover of a romance novel, oiled up muscles and all.”

“Good thing you aren’t interested in that,” Dan said self-deprecatingly, taking another swallow of champagne.

“Ew, have you seen those guys? I mean, not to hate on that lady’s kink, but all those bulgy veins and junk? Gross. I like my cozy, warm Dan any day,” she said definitively, and warmth spread through Dan’s abdomen. He didn’t like to confess it, but assurance of her continued interest in him was definitely something he sought more than he cared to admit.

“You do one,” she nudged him with a smirk, and Dan flushed.

“Tell me about that guy,” she nodded at a short, skinny fellow with meticulously kept brown hair.

Dan sighed, and she squeezed his hand.

“Come on, Dan, this was your idea. Play the game.”

“He wears his hair like that because he doesn’t want people to underestimate him,” Dan finally said, “He knows he’s not intimidating so he looks sharp to compensate.”

“Boring, get to the good stuff.”

“I’m not speculating about his sex life.”

“God, you’re such a prude. Fine then, I will. He’s into golden showers.”

“ _Michelle!_ ”

“What? Let people have their kinks, Dan. You don’t have to be into it.”

“Why are you assuming everyone in this room has some weird, secret kinks?”

“Why shouldn’t I? People do. Except maybe that guy,” she pointed at a heavily muscled guy across the room, “And that’s actually his secret, now that I think about it. People think he’s into kinky shit but in reality he’s a ‘make love by candlelight’ type.”

Dan laughed, and quickly brought his forearm up to his mouth to muffle it, trying not to spill his champagne at the same time.

“Oh my god, stop. You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m also right. Come oooonnnnn, you do one. You know you want to.”

She smiled charmingly at him and pressed her breasts against his arm flirtatiously.

“Fine,” he sighed, scanning the room. He spotted a petite woman with deep set eyes.

“She’s into pony play,” he said in a quiet murmur, nodding at her, “Wears a horse tail butt plug and everything.”

“Ooo, yeah, I could see that. Cute little horse hoof shoes and a bridle. Cute little show pony fantasies. How about him?”

She nodded toward a portly man with thinning hair.

“Infantilization. Definitely.”

Michelle laughed with delight, and nudged him, “Yes! Perfect.”

It was a wildly inappropriate game, but it did make the last hour and half they needed to be there pass more quickly, and Dan grinned as his watch gave a little beep at eleven.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, and Michelle grabbed several h'orderves from passing trays to take on the road with them.

“That was a weird night,” Michelle said as she opened the passenger door of Dan’s car in the parking lot, “But at least we got booze and food.”

He had to agree, though he wasn’t entirely sure the booze and food was worth standing in a stuffy tux for three hours. Michelle’s cocktail dress, though... maybe.

He didn’t even get a chance to put the keys in the ignition before Michelle was feeling him up, biting her lip and squeezing his dick through his pants.

He gasped and grabbed her arm, and she whined.

“Oh come _on_ I’ve been good for _hours_ , how much longer do you expect me to hold out with you looking so fucking sexy like that?”

Dan blushed and shivered and she squeezed her hand around him, making him gasp, “You look like James Bond, I’ve been wet since I saw you in this thing.”

Dan groaned, lust sparking down his spine, and he couldn’t stop himself from starting to get hard in her hand if he tried.

“Come on,” she coaxed, “I’m wearing lacy panties and the backseat is _right there_.”

Dan gave a breathless laugh, staring at the ceiling of the car for a second and shaking his head, “Okay.”

She let him go and immediately slid out of the car to open the backseat door, and Dan followed.

He was barely in the seat before she was climbing into his lap, her dress riding up in the sexiest way.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Dan groaned. He had been trying to ignore how tightly the black dress clung to her since she stepped out of the bathroom hours ago, but he was drinking it in now. He wanted any excuse to see her in this dress over and over again.

She leaned in and kissed him, and Dan groaned as her hands moved over his chest and shoulders and abdomen, digging her fingertips in and pressing hard with her palms.

She made a breathy sound in the back of her throat when he pushed her dress up more, thumbing the edges of her lacy panties before gripping her ass with both hands and squeezing hard.

“Fuck yes,” she moaned, grinding down hard into his lap, and Dan’s hips pushed up into the friction jerkily.

His bowtie felt like it was choking him, and he fumblingly tugged it loose, then undid the top button with a grunt of frustration. He was sweating, the small of his back tacky with it and making his shirt stick to him, and he wished he had at least taken the tux jacket off beforehand.

But Michelle seemed to be into it; normally she would be the one pulling all his clothes off no matter where they were, but instead she was just running her hands over him, scratching her nails against the fabric and squirming in his lap, her thighs tightening on either side of his hips.

She made a whiny sound, desperate and edgy and Dan reached up, fisting his hand in her hair and pulling until she was leaning back and away from him, her back in an arch.

“Calm down,” he said steadily, and she let out a shaky breath, “Calm down.”

She took a deep breath and let it out, consciously letting her muscles relax, and Dan leaned forward to press a kiss between her breasts gently.

“Good girl,” he breathed, stroking up her side with his free hand and pressing another kiss against her sternum, “There’s a good girl.”

He squeezed his hand against her side before slowly sliding it down to the waistband of her panties, shushing her when she whimpered. He slid his fingertip under the waistband and followed it from her hip to under her navel, and she shook, gripping the sleeves of his jacket.

“Fuck, look at you,” he breathed, and she trembled with a pant, “you’re on edge and I’ve barely touched you. You’re going to fucking lose it over a tux.”

She whined and squirmed, and Dan slid his hand into her panties and cupped her lightly. She was dripping wet, and he gave a little moan as his fingers slid through her folds easily. He licked his lips and lowered his head to her breast, biting through the fabric and she squirmed with a gasp.

Two fingers inside her with no resistance, and he ground the heel of his palm against her clit until she came with a cry, thrashing and grinding down into it and going tight around his fingers.

“Good girl,” he said again, panting and sweating and so turned on he was in pain, “Give it to me, baby, come on. Give it all up to me.”

He ground his palm against her clit until she was trying to twist away, then released her hair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders so he could twist her down onto the seat.

Her thighs were shaking and her eyes were glossy, and he needed to be inside her _right fucking now_.

“Fuck- I need-” he panted, fumbling for his belt, and her eyes slipped closed as she nodded frantically.

“ _Yes,_ fuck, want you inside me already, come on.”

Dan shoved his dress pants down enough to get his dick out, throbbing and aching and leaking furiously from the tip, and she made a wanton sound, drawing her knees up weakly.

He slid his hands under her ass and grabbed a fistful of her panties, pulling them down her thighs and then off to be lost somewhere on the floor.

“Hurry up,” she whined, squirming and reaching for him and he grunted with discomfort at the cramped quarters but they made it work.

Then he was sinking into the brain-meltingly tight wetness of her pussy and they moaned in unison.

“Don’t fucking lose it yet,” she groaned, her knees squeezing his sides and her nails digging into his ass, “Don’t you fucking lose it yet, Dan, make me come again.”

Dan ground his forehead against her shoulder and grabbed her hip in a bruising grip, “Jesus, stop talking. I know it’s hard for you but that’s literally the only way I can make it.”

She moaned and arched up into him but didn’t say anything else, and Dan squeezed his eyes closed and tried to think about the contents of the pantry back home to distract himself.

Then she squeezed around him and he gasped, his body reacting completely without his permission and starting to thrust. Once he started he couldn’t stop, not with the way she was moaning and fisting his tuxedo jacket in her hands and riding up into every jerky thrust.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” he moaned, gripping the edge of the seat next to her head with one hand as the other squeezed bruises into her hip, “Fuck, your fucking pussy. So fucking wet for me, so hot to have me inside you.”

Michelle moaned and squeezed and arched and Dan ducked his head to mouth at her breasts through her dress, biting here and there and breathing hot against the material, “Live on my dick if you could, wouldn’t you, baby? Thick and hot and filling you up.”

She whined and squirmed and Dan thrust harder and faster; the whole car had to be moving, there was no way it wasn’t obvious what was going on inside. He couldn’t find it in him to care when she was shaking and crying out with every exhale and he could practically taste how close she was in the hot air around them.

“Come on, baby. Come on my dick like a good girl, wanna feel you come,” Dan panted, almost lightheaded with how overheated he was, how desperate he was, at the deep ache in his balls that was demanding and insistent and painful.

He bit her nipple through her dress and suddenly she was coming, tight as a vise and crying out and shaking and he couldn’t stop himself from coming with her if there had been a gun to his head.

A hard shout pushed from his throat and he buried himself deep, hitching in as tight as he could and pumping pulse after pulse of cum inside her. Her cunt fluttered and squeezed, coaxing wave after wave of pleasure through him until he had nothing left to give.

She moaned and crossed her ankles in the small of his back, her arms wrapping around him and keeping him inside her.

“Oh my god,” she moaned breathlessly, “Oh my god, Dan.”

A random spasm ran through her and it made him gasp, and he ground his forehead against her shoulder as they rode it out.

“Yeah...” he agreed weakly, his voice barely a whisper, and she moaned again.

Dan zoned out, concentrating on catching his breath and willing away the fuzziness in his brain, and Michelle pressed her cheek against the side of his head.

His body felt heavy, but when he could breathe again he forced himself to pull back, despite Michelle’s protests.

He sat back and rubbed a hand over his head for a second before his eyes were inevitably drawn to the mess he had made between her thighs. His spunk was already starting to leak out, fat, pale pearls of it sliding down between her cheeks and coating her pussy lips.

“Fuck, we’re ruining your dress,” he said, looking around to see where the box of tissues had got off to, but she waved him off with a dismissive sound.

“Who cares? All the most famous dresses in history probably have cum stains, Daniel. It’s practically presidential.”

Dan laughed in surprise, and she giggled, tugging her dress the rest of the way down and being completely uncaring of the fact that it was most definitely going to be ruined by the stupid amount of cum Dan had just put inside her.

“How long of a drive is it? Jesus, I want you to fuck me again. How fast can you get it up?”

Dan leaned his head against the back of the seat and groaned, “I’m not a machine, Michelle, fuck, give me an hour.”

She sighed and nudged him with her knee, “Your timer starts now. Come on, I want to go home and do this again.”

Dan chortled and looked at her, still lying on her back on the seat and looking wrecked. She was gorgeous.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Home.”


End file.
